RAIN THE ABLUTION

When I left for my work the weather was normal, the sky was partially cloudy, and a cool wind was blowing with normal steering. Therefore, I didn't take rain coat or umbrella. On the way, the sky abruptly became overcast with rain clouds and it began to drizzle. I was on a road where there was no traffic, and the green trees on both sides of the road were waving with the wind. I threw a look at the far distance, all along the way the trees looked as if the nature in green dress, swinging and dancing. I stopped the car and stood out on the road. I spread both my hands into the wind, looking up to the sky and took all the love of nature into my body. I felt like I was in the lap of Mother Nature and she was swinging me and at the same time singing for me the sweet song of love and affection. I forgot everything; it was just me and the nature. I felt as if I myself was the NATURE. There was a ONENESS AND THE UNITY. There is “ONLY HIM. Here I found the secret that love joins in one. There remain none but Him, and love makes ME-HIM-HIS-REFLECTION-UPON ME-TURNS ME INTO HIM.

I wrote this blog in last December.

I AM HAPPY SHE FORGOT ME!

Following is the response to the above CRY!

  “HAS HE EVER REMEMBERED ME TO NOW FORGET?”

 He promised that he will never forget her, 

and now, he is happy to forget her. 
And she........ah! She..........between the first promise with tears and the second said happiness of leave, she is just a toy between forgetfulness hands,,,,,,,,a toy in limbo! 

In the night, the pride sleeps and the longing wakes up alone devouring her 
and the heart writes the same daily story........with the ink of tears 
that now she wants to go in long trave,l,,,,,,but 
but,,,,,,,,,,anyone knows where can she find the way to a place in which her heart is not following her! 

The gossiping ladies' whisper echoes in her ear 
their sarcastic laughs says "hurray, at last he forgot her" 
She helplessly bows her head and her silent tear wonderingly wails "has he ever remembered me to now forget?”

My 'Dinner guest" is a lady whom I got acquainted on internet.  I happened to travel to USA so I got the chance and invited her on dinner while I was in transit. 

So here is my DINNER GUEST 

Dé.jà vu

I was waiting for her in the hotel lobby, where I had to have a short stay as a transit passenger.  I did not give her the time, but I e-mailed only the name of the hotel in which the airline was going to provide me the lodging. I had nothing to do specifically there in the hotel, so I came down to the lobby restaurant made myself comfortable in a sofa from where I could keep an eye on the entrance of the hotel.  The contents of the e-mail I sent to her were echoing in my mind:

“I am travelling, and I have made my flight arrangement so that I can get a transit in your city.  My stay will be for about 10 hours, so the airline will provide me a room in Hotel Serena located near the airport in your city.   I would be very pleased if you could pay me a visit and have DINNER WITH ME if it is convenient to you………………….”

I was there sitting on the sofa, and periodically eyeing the entrance.  All at once I felt that the atmosphere around me changed, and filled with an enchanting fragrance just as the same I used to feel whenever she came before me in my imagination. Yes she had come! She put her delicate feet in to the entrance.

I didn’t know how all it use to happen, or maybe it was because of the love I have for her, I could never see her as a separate person. I always felt that she is a part of me, runs like blood in my veins and I breathe which gives me life.   It always surprised me that mere an appearance of her could transform the entire surrounding.

She threw her searching eyes around, and stopped at me.  There was complete silence, I was hearing nothing, the slight movement of her bosom, where she was holding the baby was giving me the sense of her breathing, which she was trying to control.  There was a smile of content on her face.  She stepped towards me; as usual I felt that if she was floating.  I stood up when she came near me.    She sat on the other corner of the sofa very calmly as if there was not need of any formalities. 

There were two more eyes looking at me besides her…………..the baby, she was smiling and cuddling while looking at me.  I smiled back to her………………trying to scan her face as I wanted to find some reflection.

We were sitting there in silence, or as we did not need words to communicate, just as our eyes were doing the rest.  Quiet, but all was there we talked.  I was in a deep calm seeing her contented; the happiness pouring out of her was all I saw. 

“Aren’t you going to order, am I not invited at dinner?”  She was smiling while talking to me.

“You do it.” 

“Okay, here is Alcatra (menu).” She chose some dishes, as she knew very well what suited to me as well as hers.  They were all Egyptian dishes.

I did not know how much time was passed. Then she asked after  we have finished the dinner, “When is your connecting flight?” I at once came into the material world.   I threw an eye on the clock in the lobby,   “the airline coaster is about to come within an hour.”  I replied very dejectedly.

  ‘Ok, I must leave now!” There was a gloom clouded on her face.

“Tell me, do you feel any remorse after seeing me?”  I asked her while she was trying to compose herself.

“Remorse!”  There was a shock in her voice,  “Why! No!............I am rather finding myself as I am in a complete protection, save, and without any fear………..very contented.”  She was speaking very confidently and her eyes were shining more and more with every word she spoke. 

“I am really having a longing that I might have the power to reverse the turntable of life back to synchronize it with yours.”  There was a deep smile on her face with a light colour of shy. 

 “Thanks for the dinner.”

“Thanks for coming.”

“I had to, I was longing to see you in physical and you provided me that chance.” Saying this she stood up to leave. 

“I would have to bring some gift for you, but I could not decide what……….”

She interjected, “Oh there is no need for it!”   She smiled,  “I already have my gift…………..”  She eyed her baby and gave her a big kiss.

That was a ‘dé.jà vu’.  It was happening to me once again. Many year ago I faced the same situation someone said the same words to me and I could not say a single word in return except staring her as I was seeing her this time spell bound stepping down far away at the last step of the hotel’s exit, where she was going out of my sight engraving her last look in my heart.  Once again there was a heavy burden on my heart, but this time I did not violate the norms and ethics of love but NATURE did.

 It was a cool evening. I was once again standing before the Pyramids, where I first met her.  I didn't know whether it was a dream or live reality.  My eyes were looking for her with all the desires in them a life can have. A strange fragrance tickled my nostrils; there she was coming, moving in a slow motion, or rather floating.  Her pink rose dress was flapping with the rhythm of wind.  I stretched my arms, though she was still far away, but very next moment her warm body was in my arms.  I closed my eyes as I wanted to feel her with the feelings and see her with my inner vision. 

I did not know how much time passed.   It was when I felt her slim finger on my face moving away,  I opened my eyes.  “Are you going?”  

“Have to go, the night is getting over! 

“When will you come?”  My question came up to my lips as a child was demanding something. 

“Whenever I depart you always ask the same question!” She laughed, and I heard the tinkling of bells all around. 

“It seems a waiting of centuries when I wait for you!”  I said in a very soft voice, holding her supple hand in my demanding hand.

“Waiting is also an indication of love, and it transpires from the emotions.”  She smiled again. 

“My waiting for you may finish in some years and only memories will remain.” 

“What do you mean? I do not understand.”  Her body jerked and she put her finger on my lips as she did not want me to say that.  

“It’s fear of losing you. You know since I met you, the fear of losing you always imbues my entire self.”  I said very timidly,  

“Why worry on the things which are beyond our control.”  She tried to pacify me. 

“But how can I get rid of this fear, this always bites my heart.”  

There were not words on her lips, but the dampening eyes were showing the same pain which I suffer.  “I will come tomorrow, and hope to find you waiting for me.”  

“If waiting is  destiny, I will wait for you for thousands of years, as these pyramids are standing here for centuries you will find me here by their sides waiting for you.” 

I did not know how I was whispering these words, I felt my lips were not moving but the voice was echoing all around, as I was seeing here disappearing between the pyramids. 

This is a gift for me from a friend of mine, and with her permission I am blogging it for my friends here to read:

"Colorful Expressions"

It’s now black and white that she never loved me. She is gone forever leaving me in blue. I have been in black mood all the time thinking about her. Last time I have had an argument with her, but I was in grey area about what she was up to.

I was looking at her red face.  I would never be a green eyed monster, if she has fallen in love with somebody else.   There would be no one more tickled pink than me if she really likes someone else.  I will pass with flying colors because I have seen the true colors

If YOU want not to be hurt or betrayed, NEVER OPEN YOUR HEART TO ANY ONE. IF IT IS COMPELLED TELL EVERY THING BUT KEEP SOME FOR YOURSELF……… NEVER OPEN YOUR SECRETES.

 DO NOT EXPECT AT ALL OR MUCH FROM OTHERS. IN THIS WAY IF THE UNEXPRESSED EXPECTATIONS ARE FULFILLED, IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY OTHERWISE THERE WILL BE NO HARD FEELINGS.

 What I have said though is difficult, but applicable. I do not open my heart to any one not even to the closed ones. In expectations I have experienced the HURT real HURT, so I do not expect much.

 If we make ourselves some rules like this life becomes a bit easier.

My wife, a veteran professor, a college principal, delivered this speech when she completed her Observations period in a Montessori School. I would like to share it with you people with her permission:

"I am thrilled to be here at this auspicious occasion, the one of which every student, irrespective of age waits. LEARNING HAS NO AGE LIMIT. IT GOES FROM CRADLE TO GRAVE. I would like to share with you all the moments I have passed here in this esteemed institution, where I once again learned how to teach students, I have been teaching the Intermediate and the graduate students throughout my life, I now realized when I found myself amongst the small kids during my observation that how much enjoyable the teaching is when it comes to teach these young children, which you can hardly find when you teach the older student. I thank all my teachers and seniors to let me have this opportunity to learn here, and provide me chance to have observations in a school here in Karachi and I also got the opportunity to have six weeks observation in Baltimore, USA during my recent visit there. It was a very good experience and it enriched my vision of the aspect of teachings the kids. I once again thank you all.
As salam u alaikum."

He now feels left in the desert, standing there in the heat with choked throat.  He wanted to cry…………cry loudly and tell her that he truly loves her, but the slap he felt on his face would have not been so hard, but the hatred in her eyes burned him alive.

It happened that two of his female colleagues got closed to him. First he felt that they both just liked him as a friend, but with the passage of time he realized that it’s not just friendship, it is beyond that.  He was so happy that he has two girls at the same time loving him.  He knew, neither of the two aware of this situation.  So he started dating them separately.  In the beginning he didn’t have any such feelings towards them.  He just want to enjoy their company without having any slight idea that he is deceiving them and playing with their emotions unjustly. 

Not long time passed that he felt that he is in love with one of them (Liza), whereas the other one (Uzma) couldn’t touch his heart.  The problem was that he very cleverly convinced both of them separately that he was in love with them head to toe, and could not live with her.  It had become true in case of Liza.  On the other hand Uzma wanted to go ahead of mere dating.  She wanted him to marry her.  She was so convinced and believed in his love that one day she confided this secret with Liza, hearing which Liza shocked very much and told her that the guy was going to marry her, how come he said to you.  Then they both realized how mischievously he had been playing with their emotions.  They made a plan to catch him red handedly.

On the other hand he decided to tell everything to Liza about what had been going on, and he now realized that he loved Liza and not Uzma.  He also decided to propose Liza to marry him. 

It was all set and he called Liza for a date, and when he started to say that how much he loved Liza, Uzma also reached on the spot.  He was seeing them with open mouth and terrified eyes.  Liza and Uzma was standing before him, threw at him a look full of hatred, didn’t say a world and left hand in hand.

He now feels left in the desert, standing there in the heat with choked throat.  He wanted to cry…………cry loudly and tell her that he truly loves her, but the slap he felt on his face would have not been so hard, but the hatred in her eyes burned him alive.

OPPOSITE ATTRACTS………………

I and my wife are not of same nature. I am rather carefree and she is too caring and cheerful. I do not like tidiness of the house, but she is immaculate. She likes to see the things in their proper places, whereas I throw my belongings here and there and then make hue and cry to find them. She finds them for me and helps me get ready. One day, just for a change I put all my things on their proper places so that I could find them easily in the morning. Next day I got ready on my own. My wife not knowing all this woke up as usual and I found her in a shock when I got ready without asking any help from her. 

In the evening I found her in the same faded mood. “What’s up?” I asked holding her in my arms. “You do not love me anymore!” She said with tears in her eyes. “How come you say that” I asked her in curiosity. “You did not let me help you get ready in the morning” She said in a timid voice. “OH! I see!” Saying this I started throwing my things here and there as usual.

Bosom Friend

We saw each other on a jogging track and all at once we became friend.......best friend I can say so, because she never denied my company, rather I always see her eyes shining when she is with me. She is the coolest girl in temper, but has the sweetest smile. She has average build. She has a charming soul but it always with a pensive touch. She could have a bright life but she loves not to unveil her emotions. What is the reason of her having a cold heart? Has something gone wrong in her life? I am sure; I will make her opens her heart to me. Don't ask who is she, because who knows who we are. So much so in fact that she can be the Princess of my heart. She may not be the perfect girl in others’ eyes, but all I can see in her is a natural heavenly beauty. No matter how much she is reserved, I hope that one day I will be successful to have her in my life. 

This is from my mail box sent to me by one of my friends and asked me to share it with others.

This is my father!

He is my father, very unsocial and carefree.  We are his two kids, a son and a daughter, me.  I know my father loves me more than he loves my brother.  I enjoy this privilege being belong to a daughter loving family.  I have pictures when I was a child, I see myself sometimes in his laps, sometime riding on him and giggling.  I remember whenever by brother teased me or snatched my toys or color pencils or refuse to do anything asked, I used to phone my father and he always used to say, “what happened baita?, what he’s done now?  Is he teasing you again?  OH! Broke your toys!  Tut tut, ok don’t cry I will bring you the new ones, yes I won’t bring anything for him, just relax,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

I am now grown up,  and my brother is grown up too, and gone abroad, I am here alone to enjoy all the love, care and even a look full of affection of my father.   I am getting married by the end of this year.  My father is very happy (but sad too).  He uses to say these days,  “baita, what will I do when you are gone?”  This is my father!

When we were kids traveling by train, we used to watch the trees from the train window thinking that we are staying in our positions while the trees are leaving us behind...........some of people still watch the trees from the window of the life\love train with the same eye of the kid inside them considering that their beloved is leaving them, but actually they are the one who leave!

Nothing has come so far within the reach of my writing.

I have to write the pains I feel.

I have to write the dreams living in my eyes.

I have to write about the tears not yet dropped.

Nothing has come so far within the reach of my writing.

I have to write about the journey I have to take.

I have to show you the desert of my thirst.

I have to write yet the nights I have passed separated.

Yet I have to tell you how much I cried but kept the hope.

Nothing has come so far within the reach of my writing.

This is an humble attempt to translate from Urdu poetry.

Touch of finger

Once a Saint came across with Satan (Devil) and argued with him, “why you do all the bad deeds and cause violence amongst the mankind?”   “Me! No sir,” replied the Satan politely,  “I never do any such thing, I just have got the bad name for all the bad deeds happening in the world.  They are not caused by me.”

 “No, it’s you who is responsible of all the sins the mankind commit!” Retorted the Saint!

 “No, Sir,” the Satan repeated quite humbly, “I do not ask anyone to do anything wrong, I just touch my finger.”

 “What do you mean by touching your finger?” Asked the Saint.

 “Do you want to see, Sir?”

 “Yes, of course!” said the Saint.

 “Come and see yourself.”

 The Satan took the Saint to a sweet shop, and dipped his finger in one of the containers of sweets, then he touched the finger to the floor nearby.  The particles of the sweet stuck on the floor.  Smelling the sweet a mouse came out from some corner to eat the sweet.  Seeing the mouse a cat sitting there jumped to it.  The dog of the neighboring shop owner when saw the cat, ran to catch her.  Because of all this hustle bustle some of the containers of the sweet fell down and all the sweet got wasted.  Seeing this the sweet shop keeper hit the dog with a stick.  Unfortunately the dog died.  The owner of the dog and the sweet shop keeper had a very bad fight with each other and both of them got injured.  They both belonged to different faith (religions).  The rumor spread in the vicinity that a man belonging to the other religion killed the sweet shop owner. This turned into communal riot and many people of both the side died and injured.  The local police very hardly got control of the situation.

 The Saint and the Satan were watching all this. 

 “You see Sir, I just touched the finger.  I didn’t ask them to do all those fighting.  So how can you blame me for this?”

 Our Lord has given us wisdom, if we use it at the right time, there will be no chance to fall in any trap of Satan……………………Satan, however, has  the permission to astray the mankind.   

CRYSTAL HEART

How strange the human psychology is! When we love, we yearn to possess whom we love, but when we find it beyond our power to get her/him for our own, and then our imagination gets activated and creates a world of our own desires where we do what we wish to do. When we wish to see our lover, she is there before our eyes, we make her laugh, and we make her cry. Our own longing makes her long for us as if she is not united with us, she will die. So as it happened to me. I am the dweller of my imagination. I always dwell in my own world of imagination and there I am the master, I am the king, I am the only power who can create what I want to see.

Once again, the time referred to the same adjusted time in the evening. As usual I once again found myself in the misty meadow. My eyes were trying to look through the fog as I was yearning to see someone, to find someone. All at once the entire surrounding was amazingly filled with the wind of joy and happiness. There she was appearing far away in the meadow, wrapped in twilight, letting the dim light of the moon shine her body. She seemed to be rushing towards me in slow motion. The air seemed tickling her body pores, and in a very naughty way, this wind of joy and excitement played with her gauzy soft silky dress which she used to wear when she came to see me. The same naughty wind freed her hairs from all their bands, letting them bounce with every movement of her neck.

I found her falling in my demanding arms letting her hair enjoy the company of my shoulder and her ear be tickled by the breath of my whisper, “How are you? where have you been, it seems it has been many years since I saw you last!”

“How come you say that, we have just met recently, ha ha ha,”

She laughed showing her twinkling white pearly teeth.

“But you did not remember me, if you did so you will never find me apart from you. If you remember me with true love and demand, you would find me right here in your arms, like now.” The ripple of her voice and the fragrance of her breath made me feel drowning into the sea of flowers.

“The fear of your parting does not let me remember anything! I can never enjoy your company, because of this fear that you will soon leave, leaving me behind just letting me stare blank in the air. It seems that I am your toy, you just come to play with me and when contented, just leave, putting me away.”

My tear made her tremble, “DON’T SAY THAT, IT IS NOT TRUE. I truly love you, and always fear that someone would snatch you away from me. I do not want to go away from you, I always come to you with the intention that I will not leave, BUT THERE IS SOME POWER THAT DRAG ME AWAY FROM YOU, SOME UNSEEN POWER. I sometimes feel that this is a restricted area, and I am not allowed to come here. Tell me, if this is prohibited for me, why would YOUR LOVE BE INSIDE ME SO DEEP THAT I FIND MYSELF UNABLE TO SCRATCH IT OUT. WHEN I AM AWAY FROM YOU, YOUR LOVE ATTRACTS ME TOWARDS YOU, WHEN I COME HERE SOME UNSEEN POWER DRAG ME AWAY FROM YOU, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?"

I felt her body tremble in my arms because of her sobbing, her beautiful bright eyes brighten more with the twinkling of the tears which were rolling down on her glowing cheeks.

“I told you, this is a magical world, and you have to just see before you, paying no attention to the voices, and if and when you look back, you will turn into a stone. This is the condition, through which you are undergoing”. I tried to pacify her from her grief, shuddering with the thought that she will soon depart.

Then the time came. She was trying to release herself from my arms, “I gotta go now, the night is getting over.” I looked into her eyes again filled with tears.”

I was losing my grip around her, as I was not holding a body, but a body of smoke, ‘I will remember not to turn back…………….bye till we meet again”.
“Don’t go, please! May be you will not find me here next time you come. There will be only the gleaming of my crystal heart, or the echo of my sobbing.” I was saying while she was disappearing from my sight once again.

“We will have to wait till the day when we unite……………….”
This was the last I heard………… and fell unconscious.

Dear All members of EC and friends of Noor,

I am deeply shocked to learn the sad demise of NOOR one of our beloved EC members and express my profound grief and heartfelt condolences to all her friends on EC and other members of her family.  With her death we have lost a good friend. But before the will of Allah we all are helpless.  We can only pray that Almighty Allah the most merciful may rest her soul in eternal peace and grant her friends and other family members courage and fortitude to bear this great and irrecoverable loss, Ameen.

Mishaikh

Cruelty

Soldiers, shooting game; children falling dead.

Long time ago I came across with a news, in an occupied land some soldiers of the enemy started a shooting game, and targeted the children playing nearby, in the streets, on the roofs........they were falling dead.