Dear Johan,
It has been a long time since I was at your company in wonderful travels all over the amazing places of the world. Maybe we haven't met each other for 2 years, right?! I want to say I intend to drop in you next month if you allow me to do that. I want to visit you so we can update our delayed conversations, since it has been a long time since we talked about our plans to know all the places we can before dying. You know, I am planning on going to Japan this winter and I would like to invite you to go with me. It's a fantastic place to visit this season, because there are beautiful cherry trees falling down their delicate pink flowers on the ground of some old cities, shaping a heavenly view of the Japanese nature. Moreover, it's worth to go to Japan because it has been a long time since I saw dad and mom that moved away to there in search of better life quality opportunities. In fact, my routine is hard for 2 years and I need urgently rest some days beside my beloved parents. Waiting your reply for starting a journey through fantastic Japanese culture.
Write back soon,
Daniel
Comments
Hi teacher Tar, I tried to rewrite the parts you pointed out to me conveying the very same meaning I intended in the first time. I don't know how good it is. So, I hope you can rate my rewriting of this prompt. Cheers!
Thanks for trying this writing prompt! It seems you understand how to use since quite well.
I agree with @noaspls. Your writing can be much simpler. Maybe that could be your goal for 2014. : ) Keep your writing as simple as possible. Start by trying to write shorter sentences. Removing unnecessary adverbs and adjectives will also help your writing.
Can you simplify this sentence? Look at the parts in quotations. I fixed a few things in bold.
I want to visit you for so we can update our "late by time conversations", since it has been a long time since we talked about our plans "to know as many places as we can before dying".
An observation. Some of your sentences are a bit confusing and convoluted. For an example; "You know, I'm planning to invite you to take a trip to know with me Japan during winter season". Maybe you can make it better with
1. "You know, I'm planning to go to Japan during this winter and would like to invite you to go with me". Or
2. "You know, I am planing on going to Japan this winter. And, I would like to invite you to go with me."
I am also an English learner, but I think some of your sentences can be written in better and simple way.