I have been thinking a lot about this and I am convinced I do somehow maybe even subcounsciously percieve all the people on the Internet in kinda very positive way.. The thing is virtuality has its adventages and if we don't feel good, if we are in bad mood, we simply stay offline, which means our bad sides are hidden and online people (friends) can hardly see them....What's your opinion on this? How do you percieve virtual people?
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Well Luci, what I think is that it reminds me of Lacan, the French psychiatrist's theory of mirror stage. Interestingly, the virtual world becomes our mirror and it expects us to project ourselves in a certain way. We are happy and in concord with the virtual world when online. We develop our individual consciousness keeping in view the collective consciousness projected by the virtual world. When we do not feel to be viewed as the mirror--the virtual world wants us, we remain off line. What we are, what we must think, how we must shape our ideology--- everything is determined by the virtual world whether we agree or not. The desire to be heard is basically the desire to follow the standard codes of conduct of the virtual world.
Hello Luci, the way I perceive virtual people depends on my way I act online. First of all, I´m here for learning Englihs and sharing ideas, there are people who I like the way they think and write, and I try to read their blogs and participate in their discussions. That´s all.
But, I don´t need to impress anybody, if somebody wants to know more about me (and I must admit, I have some virtual friends here) it´s ok, I consider it a great experience.
Thanks for the blog Luci, have a nice week, my friend...
Luci, I’ve been here for 8 months now and I learned a lot of things, named it different people in all walks of life, different culture, diverse attitude and behavior (sweet, bitter, & sour). I joined here with a purpose to learn and to gain possible friends, and yes thankfully, I have it (at least for what I believe, and if somebody will tell me otherwise, that’s not my problem!).
Believe me, at first, it was so difficult for me to adjust to other members here specifically those who are harsh, terse, impatient and grouchy. (I don’t want to enumerate them, they know themselves better!). I got humiliated, slightly bashed, ridiculed and treated badly by some (compare to my real life, it’s bearable. Mind you, I’m so used to these people but just like anyone made of flesh, I still feel hurt.)
People here/virtual guys see me here as talkative, active, commenting, sending sweet greetings ( I mean everything I posted on my “friends” wall, and yes I consider them as “friends” like in my real life) that I think they deserve. And to perceive something towards another person is very psychological, sometimes we “feel” they write like “handsome, beautiful, ugly, intelligent or stupid” because our brain is wired up to what we call preconception, which is very natural. Just like our imagination. That’s why some even fall in love with someone they barely know/see. Because as we read some text, our brain is starting to imagine something, and it’s a normal process of our cognitive.
Practically speaking, I don’t care if people will dislike my attitude here! I prefer to be liked for who I am not for someone they thought I am. I’m no perfect and I even know how to curse. (But no, I will not, up to date, as I promise I will try my very best to respect all members here, so help me God).
Ideally, I thought every member are good unless they prove me otherwise (opposite of Mary’s), but still, I can give another chance, who am I? I’m just the same nasty human.
But you know what, some people tries to pretend because they are afraid that the community will not accept the horrible fact about them, or them perse’. I can understand this one, not all people are true to themselves, I believe they suffer a lot in real life.
We are not perfect, in reality, or virtually. It doesn’t hurt much if we try to understand other’s predicaments in life.
If somebody dislikes me, I will try to reach out and know the reasons behind that, I usually do this privately. Plus, that’s beyond my control, so why should I worry myself? (but I still message them-yeah freak!haha)
I really like so many members here, really… and if they FEEL THE OPPOSITE, that’s not my problem.
So, to summarize, I do idealize virtual people but the picture of them in my mind is positive until…..they violate my human rights. Hahaha!
“Just remember, those who hate you doesn’t win unless you hate them”- I forgot who said this, I just copied.
My experience in the virtual world most of the time makes me stay away, but I never did, rather try to keep a safe distance. I do not mingle to close friendship, but a good one, yes. Most of the time there is deception, camouflage, even in 'love' there is no reality and closeness. So it is very hard for me to idealize personalities on the internet.
Most of the time when we are in good mood or we are happy we feel sorry for those people who are sad and deprived of happiness.
And exactly on the other side when we are sad and depressed we find happy people the luckiest persons, we feel how lucky they are that have no sorrows no tension in life.
This is all about situation which is totally temporary.
It is not about idealize people on internet because we are in contact with them just for few hours and we don't exactly know that what they are in, only we know about them is what they are showing to us , how they react and how and what they are talking about.
So, we cannot idealize perosn until we know them perfectly.
In my opinion virtual people can be divided into two different groups. The first one includes people who always show their positive sides, because they are intelligent enough to stay away when they are not in the mood for chatting or something.
On the other hand we have the second type of people, who think they are untouchable on Internet and they can do whatever they want, without any consequences. So they go online, act arrogantly thinking "Wow, look at how cool I can be.", but the truth is that they are just losers.
Summing up all I said above I would put my money on the first group. Yeah, maybe I will never get to know their bad sides, but If I have to be honest I don't need to. I come online to learn and have fun, so...
P.S. Thanks for raising such interesting questions, Luci!
I hesitated to comment here, because to be honest I dunno what is 'idealize' mean. Then I read almost all the comment and find out it kind of 'think that somebody is perfect' am i right? well, actually I always 'Idealize' people who are online, based on my opinion about the meaning of idealize off course. I meant, people here are belong to 40% humans who can afford what it takes to be here, they must be have a gadget and internet connection at least. It makes them 'ideal' in my eyes. you know internet comment often ruins my mood by its ruining commentary, so whenever I feel low, I avoid the net. I think another people do the same, they only online when they are wanting to, when they are in good mood, at least. If they become mad or angry after some times, that's different story. What I want to say is, I believe we are fortunate enough to be here.
I do agree people here are no different with people in our real life, we have feeling.It would be good if we treat people how we want to be treated. do you agree if our behavior here is same with what happens in real life? because I have meet several people who act differently. Anyway I am not into network too much if it's not for the sake of study and connecting me with my family and friends, because I agree with this, our life nowadays is just like ...
I never think that someone is perfect here.... How people talk, their language can define a little about them. But, it somehow doesn't affect me to be choosy. I accept virtual people as they are, just like in real world.
NOT ALL people pretend to be good and sweet here. I don't think I'm always good and sweet, too. I'm just how I am.
I would say that idealizing someone may happen when two people is in love, maybe. :)
Danny Clark said:
My dear Luci, you really surprised me with your attitude to those you communicate on the network! Are you serious? If I hadn't known you for rather long, I would decide you have strated a provoking discussion! People you communicate are not some "virtual people". They are real people hiding before the screens. They are the same as you meet in your real life every day. They are so very different! They are ALIVE and it means they are not perfect. Contrary to Mary, I think good about people until they make me change my mind. But even on EC, some people made me get very negative attitude to them. Mary, dear, you are not one of them. Perhaps I told you about our (Tanya's and my) attempts to chat in the main room. Never in my life have I ever heard anything like that! Such dirty thoughts! Such dirty expressions! When I was just kidding on one of the discussions, I was about to be smashed by some men who don't understand frivolous jokes although my jokes were not that frivolous, they were innocent and just funny.
So, I agree with Eva. We should be very careful choosing our online friends if we don't want to suffer if we can suffer from that.
Dear Angel, but I disagree that all people just pretend to be good and sweet here. We are who we are and it is of no matter where we communicate. If I teach here, I will be patient and polite. But if I discuss some matter, I will be frank, sometimes sharp or even intolerant. If I game, I will be impatient, but always fair.
So, we are all different and we are not angels. Just take us for what and who we are!
Do you tend to idealize people you met on the Internet?
I have been thinking a lot about this and I am convinced I do somehow maybe even subcounsciously percieve all the people on the Internet in kinda ver…
ehm you see? Maybe you dont know me at all :-D The thing is that I have been to this world for maybe six years and learned something, got some lessons etc. In fact I could write a book about it :-D Of course that all people are alive but we dont communicate face to face and the thing is that you would be surprised how many people act differently on skype talking with you face to face in comparison to posting their coments or chatting... That is why i learned that there are many people - who are in this VIRTUAL world somebody ELSE... Did you get me? I even dont know, how should I behave like being somebody else because I am just myself... I just meant by this disussion that when I meet somebody - I always see them as TABULA RASA :-D maybe wrong attitude, no idea...
Danny Clark said:
My dear Luci, you really surprised me with your attitude to those you communicate on the network! Are you serious? If I hadn't known you for rather long, I would decide you have strated a provoking discussion! People you communicate are not some "virtual people". They are real people hiding before the screens. They are the same as you meet in your real life every day. They are so very different! They are ALIVE and it means they are not perfect. Contrary to Mary, I think good about people until they make me change my mind. But even on EC, some people made me get very negative attitude to them. Mary, dear, you are not one of them. Perhaps I told you about our (Tanya's and my) attempts to chat in the main room. Never in my life have I ever heard anything like that! Such dirty thoughts! Such dirty expressions! When I was just kidding on one of the discussions, I was about to be smashed by some men who don't understand frivolous jokes although my jokes were not that frivolous, they were innocent and just funny.
So, I agree with Eva. We should be very careful choosing our online friends if we don't want to suffer if we can suffer from that.
Dear Angel, but I disagree that all people just pretend to be good and sweet here. We are who we are and it is of no matter where we communicate. If I teach here, I will be patient and polite. But if I discuss some matter, I will be frank, sometimes sharp or even intolerant. If I game, I will be impatient, but always fair.
So, we are all different and we are not angels. Just take us for what and who we are!
Do you tend to idealize people you met on the Internet?
I have been thinking a lot about this and I am convinced I do somehow maybe even subcounsciously percieve all the people on the Internet in kinda ver…
thank you for participating and leaving your comment. Even though I do not know you that much, I know you are sensitive and emotional person and maybe we shouldnt put too much emotions into virtual life and try to reduce them - what do you think? I experienced same things but I always take people I get to know like they are nice - I just dont think they are assholes, who wants to hurt me :-D This was point of my this discussion..
Evangelina said:
Luci,
I would like to say something...
I learned the hard way that people we meet in the virtual world are not always so kind, some have a very rotten soul, and they do not even care how their behavior can affect on the other person. Some people in the virtual world have a rotten moral.
I am not going to explain exactly what happened, just sometimes some people have a fragile soul...and I do not think the virtual world is made for such persons. I really thought people have the same ideals as I do. What did I learn?...Trust nobody!
A lot of nice, nice members send me friendsrequest...and I do not accept, this has something to do with myself and nothing to do with others, just sometimes I really feel so so bad conscience not accepting. ( I hope some read this ).
Sometimes I feel like screaming when I am here, it feels like suffocating, I can't breathe...I can't breathe because everyone behave in such an artificial so so sweet as sugar way... and I can't stop wondering is that true...is that really their true self...are they really always that way...so nice, so sweet, so patient, so coping, so understanding...SO RIGHT? I feel like crying, because I know that is not true.
Answer is no!... No, person on earth can only be like that way...everyone contains all the color of the platter that forms us as a complete human being...sometimes they show a little glimpse of their true self...why keeping a certain attitude in "public" and "behind closed doors act, do and say completely different things".
I do not want to appear or give the impression of an idealized person, because I am not!...Even though I do strongly believe in certain values...and I do see myself as a good human being...I can also get angry, think bad thoughts about others, say sometimes not so nice things...but I just say them, without pretending.
Why are some people so afraid of expressing their true opinions? Showings their true self?... Because behavior do reveal it anyway, words are not needed.
:-///
Do you tend to idealize people you met on the Internet?
I have been thinking a lot about this and I am convinced I do somehow maybe even subcounsciously percieve all the people on the Internet in kinda ver…
Replies
Well Luci, what I think is that it reminds me of Lacan, the French psychiatrist's theory of mirror stage. Interestingly, the virtual world becomes our mirror and it expects us to project ourselves in a certain way. We are happy and in concord with the virtual world when online. We develop our individual consciousness keeping in view the collective consciousness projected by the virtual world. When we do not feel to be viewed as the mirror--the virtual world wants us, we remain off line. What we are, what we must think, how we must shape our ideology--- everything is determined by the virtual world whether we agree or not. The desire to be heard is basically the desire to follow the standard codes of conduct of the virtual world.
Hello Luci, the way I perceive virtual people depends on my way I act online. First of all, I´m here for learning Englihs and sharing ideas, there are people who I like the way they think and write, and I try to read their blogs and participate in their discussions. That´s all.
But, I don´t need to impress anybody, if somebody wants to know more about me (and I must admit, I have some virtual friends here) it´s ok, I consider it a great experience.
Thanks for the blog Luci, have a nice week, my friend...
Luci, I’ve been here for 8 months now and I learned a lot of things, named it different people in all walks of life, different culture, diverse attitude and behavior (sweet, bitter, & sour). I joined here with a purpose to learn and to gain possible friends, and yes thankfully, I have it (at least for what I believe, and if somebody will tell me otherwise, that’s not my problem!).
Believe me, at first, it was so difficult for me to adjust to other members here specifically those who are harsh, terse, impatient and grouchy. (I don’t want to enumerate them, they know themselves better!). I got humiliated, slightly bashed, ridiculed and treated badly by some (compare to my real life, it’s bearable. Mind you, I’m so used to these people but just like anyone made of flesh, I still feel hurt.)
People here/virtual guys see me here as talkative, active, commenting, sending sweet greetings ( I mean everything I posted on my “friends” wall, and yes I consider them as “friends” like in my real life) that I think they deserve. And to perceive something towards another person is very psychological, sometimes we “feel” they write like “handsome, beautiful, ugly, intelligent or stupid” because our brain is wired up to what we call preconception, which is very natural. Just like our imagination. That’s why some even fall in love with someone they barely know/see. Because as we read some text, our brain is starting to imagine something, and it’s a normal process of our cognitive.
Practically speaking, I don’t care if people will dislike my attitude here! I prefer to be liked for who I am not for someone they thought I am. I’m no perfect and I even know how to curse. (But no, I will not, up to date, as I promise I will try my very best to respect all members here, so help me God).
Ideally, I thought every member are good unless they prove me otherwise (opposite of Mary’s), but still, I can give another chance, who am I? I’m just the same nasty human.
But you know what, some people tries to pretend because they are afraid that the community will not accept the horrible fact about them, or them perse’. I can understand this one, not all people are true to themselves, I believe they suffer a lot in real life.
We are not perfect, in reality, or virtually. It doesn’t hurt much if we try to understand other’s predicaments in life.
If somebody dislikes me, I will try to reach out and know the reasons behind that, I usually do this privately. Plus, that’s beyond my control, so why should I worry myself? (but I still message them-yeah freak!haha)
I really like so many members here, really… and if they FEEL THE OPPOSITE, that’s not my problem.
So, to summarize, I do idealize virtual people but the picture of them in my mind is positive until…..they violate my human rights. Hahaha!
“Just remember, those who hate you doesn’t win unless you hate them”- I forgot who said this, I just copied.
My experience in the virtual world most of the time makes me stay away, but I never did, rather try to keep a safe distance. I do not mingle to close friendship, but a good one, yes. Most of the time there is deception, camouflage, even in 'love' there is no reality and closeness. So it is very hard for me to idealize personalities on the internet.
Very thought provoking blog Luci, thanks.
And exactly on the other side when we are sad and depressed we find happy people the luckiest persons, we feel how lucky they are that have no sorrows no tension in life.
This is all about situation which is totally temporary.
It is not about idealize people on internet because we are in contact with them just for few hours and we don't exactly know that what they are in, only we know about them is what they are showing to us , how they react and how and what they are talking about.
So, we cannot idealize perosn until we know them perfectly.
In my opinion virtual people can be divided into two different groups. The first one includes people who always show their positive sides, because they are intelligent enough to stay away when they are not in the mood for chatting or something.
On the other hand we have the second type of people, who think they are untouchable on Internet and they can do whatever they want, without any consequences. So they go online, act arrogantly thinking "Wow, look at how cool I can be.", but the truth is that they are just losers.
Summing up all I said above I would put my money on the first group. Yeah, maybe I will never get to know their bad sides, but If I have to be honest I don't need to. I come online to learn and have fun, so...
P.S. Thanks for raising such interesting questions, Luci!
Uhmm, Hello Luci
I hesitated to comment here, because to be honest I dunno what is 'idealize' mean. Then I read almost all the comment and find out it kind of 'think that somebody is perfect' am i right? well, actually I always 'Idealize' people who are online, based on my opinion about the meaning of idealize off course. I meant, people here are belong to 40% humans who can afford what it takes to be here, they must be have a gadget and internet connection at least. It makes them 'ideal' in my eyes. you know internet comment often ruins my mood by its ruining commentary, so whenever I feel low, I avoid the net. I think another people do the same, they only online when they are wanting to, when they are in good mood, at least. If they become mad or angry after some times, that's different story. What I want to say is, I believe we are fortunate enough to be here.
I do agree people here are no different with people in our real life, we have feeling.It would be good if we treat people how we want to be treated. do you agree if our behavior here is same with what happens in real life? because I have meet several people who act differently. Anyway I am not into network too much if it's not for the sake of study and connecting me with my family and friends, because I agree with this, our life nowadays is just like ...
Hi Luci,
I agree with Teacher Dan here...
I never think that someone is perfect here.... How people talk, their language can define a little about them. But, it somehow doesn't affect me to be choosy. I accept virtual people as they are, just like in real world.
NOT ALL people pretend to be good and sweet here. I don't think I'm always good and sweet, too. I'm just how I am.
I would say that idealizing someone may happen when two people is in love, maybe. :)
Danny Clark said:
Danny,
ehm you see? Maybe you dont know me at all :-D The thing is that I have been to this world for maybe six years and learned something, got some lessons etc. In fact I could write a book about it :-D Of course that all people are alive but we dont communicate face to face and the thing is that you would be surprised how many people act differently on skype talking with you face to face in comparison to posting their coments or chatting... That is why i learned that there are many people - who are in this VIRTUAL world somebody ELSE... Did you get me? I even dont know, how should I behave like being somebody else because I am just myself... I just meant by this disussion that when I meet somebody - I always see them as TABULA RASA :-D maybe wrong attitude, no idea...
Danny Clark said:
Eva,
thank you for participating and leaving your comment. Even though I do not know you that much, I know you are sensitive and emotional person and maybe we shouldnt put too much emotions into virtual life and try to reduce them - what do you think? I experienced same things but I always take people I get to know like they are nice - I just dont think they are assholes, who wants to hurt me :-D This was point of my this discussion..
Evangelina said:
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