It started getting dark so I decided to go back to my hotel. As I started to drive towards the town it started snowing heavily. Suddenly I heard a loud blast and realized that my tire had blown up causing me to stop at the side of the road. It was getting so cold in the car that I started to freeze.
Up ahead I saw a flicker of light coming from an old cottage. I made my way to the cottage to see if I could get some assistance. Before my hand even reached the door, it started to open. Inside I saw a figure of an old woman standing by the corner of the room, her body facing the wall, and she was swaying back and forth like an old rocking chair.
Then she started to cry, a loud shrill in her voice. Her shriek was so terrible that I started to get very scared, I turned to leave but she called me to stop. I turned around to see this nice old lady holding a new born puppy in her arms. As she smiled at me my body started to relax and I moved towards the fireplace where I saw the mother dog trying to get warm and to get some sleep after giving birth to five adorable puppies!
Comments
Hi Teacher Danny! Thanks a lot for the corrections, I will keep them in mind when using these phrasal verbs! Thanks for this great challenge, I enjoyed it! :)
Hi guys...Mishaikh, noaslpls, Serene, Andrey, Shoba, Adaline, DEVIL, Eva, and saba,
Thanks for reading and sharing your comments on my short thrilling story with a twist! Glad you all liked it! It was a fun write for me too! :)
I enjoy reading it.
Nice story in begning I thaught is kinda horror u really change the topic nice work...
Dear Alice, Lovely writing as usual. Although it's a little story, you started lovely and excitement in the middle and the lovely end.
Well Done!
Thanks or sharing
Nice story! Good job, dear Alice. :)
Nice story, I expected terrible end, but it was happy. I liked it.
Nice story which ended up by giving birth to five adorable puppies!! well done, Dear Alice!
Dear Alice! Thank you for such a nice thrilling story with the happy end. Here are my corrections in bold:
It started getting dark so I decided to go back to my hotel. When I started driving to the town it started snowing heavily. Suddenly I heard a loud blast and realized that my tire had blown out making me __stop at the side of the road. It was getting so cold in the car that I started freezing.
Up ahead I saw a flicker of light coming from an old cottage. I made my way to the cottage to see if I could get some assistance. Before my hand even reached the door, it started opening. Inside I saw a figure of an old woman standing in the corner of the room___ facing the wall and ____swaying back and forth like an old rocking chair.
Then she started crying in shrill ___voice. Her shriek was so terrible that I started getting very scared, I was about to leave but she asked me to stop. I turned back to see that nice old lady holding a new born puppy in her arms. As she smiled at me my body started relaxing and I moved towards the fireplace where I saw the mother dog trying to get warm and to get some sleep after giving birth to five adorable puppies!
Please, pay your attention that START must be followed by a gerund. Besides, you often use wrong prepositions in the phrasal verbs.
Awwww ... your story has a cute ending. I was expecting that the old lady to come and chase you. LOL
nice writing. Just wait for Tany to make corrections if needed any.
Good work.