ESL Blogs

My friends, your writing inspire me so much that I can’t help sharing my new nightmares with you! Hahaha! Are you ready? Well, first of all, I will explain the mistakes that made me roll on the floor laughing.

1. “She was wearing a blue shirt and white pant.” The word "pant" (singular) means short breath when a person breathes with short, quick breaths, typically from exertion or excitement. With the attribute "white" it may mean slight pant from excitement. Hahaha!
2. “To be in blue” means to wear blue clothing, but it may also mean people wearing blue uniform and first of all, the police.
3. “To be blue” may mean “to be depressed” or to be blue from cold, fear, etc.
4. “Sip a cip of coffee”. Sure, the author meant a cup of coffee. But let me tell you, we can’t sip a cup. We can sip only liquid.
5. The abbreviation CIP may mean either “a channel interface processor” (the idea I used in my story) or some term used in trade and shipment.
6. The last paragraph of my story is based on the blogs read by me these days. Unfortunately (hahah!), there were no mistakes to make fun of and both blogs are great and worth reading. Thank you, guys! Hope, you are not going to kill me right away. But if you are feeling like that just wait for me to come to Europe so that you will not spend much money for my execution. I will arrive there in about two weeks! ROLF!

So, here is my last nightmare.

The day was just breaking but I was woken up by the annoying cell buzz. Who dared to call me that early? It turned out to be one of my female graduate students. Of course I asked what the matter was and whether I could help. She said I would help her if I immediately came to our university park (60 miles away from my home!) Sure, I asked why she wanted to meet in the park and she replied that our university building might have been wired (bugged) and she wanted to talk to me tete-a-tete. She said she would be in blue (or blue? I didn't catch, I was half asleep). I thought that color suited her. But I started suspecting something wrong. However, I got into my car and started driving to the place of our meeting. I luckily got there without any problems but I couldn’t even expect the problems I might face! I saw my student blue with cold shivering on the bench. She was wearing a blue shirt but nothing more! I couldn’t help asking, “Dear, what does it mean? Why are you almost naked here, in the park?”

She looked at me like a winded horse: “Sir, since you showed up in the classroom I have always been panting thinking about chemistry. When I woke up this morning, I got such “white” pant that I forgot to put something on. I want to be with you and chemistry or …..Will you, please, show me how to melt a cup for me to sip it and to do away with my life once and forever?”

I couldn’t stand it: ”Dear, if you feel like that, let me share this drink with you as I don’t deserve living. Teachers are to teach how to live but not how to die!”

Tears, sobbing and… blackout.

I got home at last. I forgot the keys in the car so I knocked on the door hopping my wife to be in and up. She opened the door but I was so shocked by my student’s behavior that I had nothing to say but, “Why are you still up?” She looked at me as though she had seen a stranger: “Why to ask if you killed your best student? The coffin with her body is in our living room and the guys in blue are waiting for you. She was one of them. You have managed to kill an FBI agent under the cover!” Oh, boy, did I tell her how to do it? I couldn’t think, I took my magic pills (cyanide) out of the safe, swallowed them and my last thought was “I will never teach them chemistry again! I’d better teach them English. At least, their language mistakes are not that lethal!”

One more blackout…

“Darling, I have always known about your being Casanova but why do you call her CIP in your dreams? Is she an IT engineer or you are dreaming about being a part of a computer again? You had better read something from Sigmund Freud as you already sound like a psycho.” It was my wife. Well, I started talking in sleep and I thought, “It is time for me to take a vacation and to travel back in time to stop this disaster! Who knows, the butterfly effect may turn out to be positive this time!”