Dear AG! Thanks for this opportunity! It is just in time!
My friends! You all know that humor is so very different in different countries and you should sometimes know some history to catch up the idea. So, I will start with and old British anecdote.
Once upon a time the King of England was traveling over his country and stopped at one tavern to have a snack. He was not really hungry and ordered only two eggs. But when a waiter brought him the bill - two pounds - the king exclamed:" Two pounds for two eggs! (That time is was great money!) I think eggs are scarce here!" The waiter smiled and replied:"Eggs are not, but kings are!" Got an idea?
My next story is from Russian/Ukrainian folklore. For you to undestand it, I have to tell what "New Russians" were. When the Soviet Union collapsed, there appeared many wealthy people who had managed to earn good money on black economy. Unfortunately, many of them were poorly educated and funny stories about New Russians are so understandable for me! Here is one of them.
One day one businessman bought a 600 Mercedes in the car center. Next day he came to the same store and bought the same car again and he went on doing the same all week long. At last, a manager asked him:"Sir! Sure, I don't mind your buying a new car every day, but will you, please, tell me what is wrong with those you have already bought?" and the businessman replied:" Everything is OK with them, but I am used to smoking in the car and your ashtrays are hard to be emptied" Well, how do you like it?!
Well, I will add one American anecdote. It is black humor and I will explain. Modern Americans can't do without lawyers. Even a lawyer can hire another lawyer if he thinks he is not quite knowlegeable in the given field. But lawyers charge so much and most of people hate them. So, here is the anecdote:
The question: What is the difference between running over a lawyer and a dog?
The answer: Running over a dog leaves the breaking track
The next one is to describe some national spirits.
The question: "If a driver is racing on the road, what can stop him?"
The answer:
France: "A WOMAN!"
England:" A woman with a DOG!"
America:"A woman with a CHILD!"
Well, I am half French and half American and I adore pets. It means that any woman can stop me if I am on my way to the hell!
Enjoy!
Comments
Dear Onee! It is my pleasure to write some blogs on your challenges as I can't start mine now. Whatever I do here it is for you, learners!
Dear Rose! Thank you for such a great joke! It sounds so "American"!
Teacher,,
I like all the jokes especially the first joke. It's so funny, but logical. :D :D
Thanks for writing blogs for us. ^_^
I read a nice joke some days ago: Here you are:
An old Arab has been living in Chicago for more than 40 years. He would like to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone and old and weak. His son studied in Paris.
That is why he writes an e-mail to his son:
Dear Ahmed,
I am very sad because I can not plant potatoes in my garden. I'm sure if you were here, you could help me and dig the garden.
I love you.
Your father.
The old man promptly receives an e-mail:
Dear father,
Please do not touch anything in the garden. There I have hidden 'the thing'.
I love you too.
Ahmed.
Six hours later, the US Army, the Marines, the FBI, and the CIA moved the old man's house.
They take apart the soil for plaice, search every millimeter, but find nothing.
Disappointed they withdraw.
On the same day, the old man receives an e-mail from his son:
Dear father,
Surely now the garden is completely dug and you can plant the potatoes. More I couldn't do for you from the distance ...unfortunately.
I love you.
Ahmed
Dear AG! Thank you for such a great challenge! I have read so many new funny stories!
Thank you, dear Shadow! I am glad you liked my stories
Dear Frank! If I were Ukrainian, I would make a funny story of that but as I am an American, it is not funny at all for me
Dear Estanis! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaha!What great jokes! Especially, I like the last! Our wives really give us some chances to make a decision they would like to hear! Ha-ha!
hahahahahahahahahaha
100 Ideas to deal with your wife :D
it's worth being published as a guidebook :D
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