Dear friends and everyone who is interested in a discussion about an interesting subject.
Recently and by chance I have read following article "Why Solitude should be your fortitude". The meaning of this sentence was meant less as a question than as a statement ... the author referred to his own experiences.
The author wrote:
"I haven’t always felt this way; in fact I used to spend a lot of time hiding behind people and activities just so I wouldn’t have to be by myself. But getting older, I started to realize how much I enjoyed being alone. In not so many words, solitude became my solace from the world and I learned to embrace it. Those moments alone are where I began to learn the most about myself. Based on a multitude of experiences coming of age, I’ve started to realize how terrified most people are of being alone. And, honestly I don’t blame them, although it is not as scary as some think. I have definitely been there: latching on to people out of fear of having to confront my own boredom and insecurities. Not to say that’s the case for everyone, but typically people are afraid to face some form of themselves, good or bad, so we tend to use others as a distraction from that." ’ll admit it can be an extremely arduous task and I definitely understand why dealing with people who uplift you easily would be easier than confronting our own thoughts and feelings about ourselves.
I agree with him when he says: "Those moments alone are where I began to learn the most about myself."
I want to add something. It's my own experience. If you are able to enjoy and to embrace solitude from time to time, you recognize yourself.
You know? I am always sociable and I also have an open ear for others. I was( and I am still ) a good listener who can feel and understand the problems of others. I give clues and advices and everyone appreciate it but if I have to speak about my own needs then I am speechless silent...I hide myself. It's like as if I had a wall around my vulnerable soul. Nobody who knows me would think so because I am a perfect actress when I have to hide my own sadness.
I look after that nobody takes a stone from the wall to look into.
My way to express my feelings is to write poems. It's my way to understand myself because I have to dig very deep inside me. To try finding the right words is it like a healing and recreation process because I have to express what I feel. Every single written word helps me to become more self-confident.
Don't understand me wrong, I am not a pessimist. I am optimistic, funny, realistic, social ... I think I am a normal person ... good mixed attitudes ... hahaha. My strenght is my weakness. Only if weare able to show weakness then we can be strong, too.
Only our lonely times give us the opportunity to recognize ourselves. Busy times or times where we are surrounded by people give us none time and muse to calm down and to feel ourselves.
Take some alone time, whether it be 10 minutes, 1 hour, 3 days, or an entire week, spend some time with you.
What do you think? What are your experiences?
When had you time to enjoy your own solitude?
Comments
Dear AG, don't mention typos .. nobody of us writes error-free, at least I think so.
More important than your mistakes is your opinion and your statement.
Thanks again.
Dear Valentina, thanks for your comment, I do agree with you in every point.
To be alone doesn't always mean being lonely or to feel emptiness.
In the article which inspired you, dear Rose, the author says, "I’ve started to realize how terrified most people are of being alone." I think, there are a few grounds of that fear. First, we can understand old people who are afraid of being helpless without anybody beside them to help about the house, doing shopping or buying medicines. However, there are many others. To my mind, people are afraid of emptiness. In order to fill the emptiness, you should have something, shouldn't be empty yourself. Usually, those people who can do something, create something (artists, musicians, writers, scientists, craftsmen, etc.) are not scared with solitude, they treasure privacy and find ways to cognize and express themselves. We can hear ourselves, nature and God better when we are alone. Perhaps, this thing the author called "fortitude".
As for me, I have always liked being alone for some time. I can't say that this is the matter of age. On the other hand, I enjoy being in a good company. There is a time for everything under the heavens:)
Thank you, dear Rose, for reminding us to stop and think, and listen to ourselves.
Thanks again..
Dear AG, your comment makes me happy. Nothing is better than being understood. Expressing of feelings in a foreign language isn't that easy. If someone understands us and even finds himself in our descripton ... then we know ... we are not alone.
I enjoyed reading your this blog.. and let me tell you something in very brief way.. it's seems you are not alone in the field, dear rose.. Actually when I read your description is seemed to me as if I am reading myself... I think this is because you were describing some certain type of personalities rather than a certain person.. I can only tell you that I share you the same everything about your feelings of yourself..
Thanks for the interesting blog :)
Dear Mishaikh, nobody should feel alone all time. We need a balanced mix of all facetes of life.
This is what you call life that makes us feel alive. We are not created for loneliness, even if we sometimes long for it.
Dear Rosemary, of course I don't think we should feel always like that. But sometimes is it necessary to hold on... not to stop for ever... just hold on for a while.
Our daily life is full of business, noises, hustle, whatever anything else. We seldom have time thinking about who we are ... I mean who we really are and who we want to be... just for ourselves. Our daily routine prevents us to listen to our heart.
Sometimes we are afraid of loosing ourselves, then we need time out to have the opportunity to find or our own personalty again.
Thanks a lot for your nice comment.
I have been a 'hermit' throughout my life. I feel myself alone if people are all around me. This is my actual companion.
Luci, by the way, I never have heard about this "darkness thing" but it sounds very interesting, I will try finding some informations about it.
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