I always ask me why people have long lists of friends on social networks. What means that for them? Nobody can manage it and deal with so many friends. My opinion is, that's only a collection of contacts. The sense of a friend is to know him. Don't understand me wrong, I know, it's even possible to become friends in social networks. But to call someone as a friend needs more than only to take him as a number or a name on a "friends" list. I ask myself what someone really knows about every single person when they have hundreds and sometimes even thousands of names on their lists. I think, if someone uses a nickname, then they don't remember the real names at all.
As for me, I want to know more about my contacts and I want to be able to remember me what I talked with them. I'm interested in their life. I have met people and some of them became real friends. A few of them I met even in reality. Sometimes is it impossible to see each other in reality. There are many reasons as there are the economical...means financial situation what makes impossible to travel, political obstacles, reasons of distance between countries. and others too. But in times of Skype and whatsapp, LINE or all the other different possibilities we can talk face to face. I want not miss that. But I also don't want to collect people like souvenirs or trophies. Nobody deserves that. Everyone is unique.
Rose Iris
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noah's pls, yes, that's always a problem to refuse to accept every friendship requests. But if we accept it then we cant manage it anymore. Then we have "friends" but we can't talk with them as so as they deserve it.
I used to accept every friend request in here. But then, I felt so guilty for not being a 'friendly' person at least to those people. I didn't even put a single 'Hello' in their walls. Thus, I've had several 'spring cleaning' session of 'unfriending' them. I think it's not a matter of how many friends you have on the friend list, but rather the quality of friends that you have.
Nowadays, I don't feel guilty if I don't accept anyone to be my 'friend'.
Hello Evangelina, you have amazingly perfected my blog about sense and nonsense of having tons of friends. You have added some aspects which we should consider.
Thanks so much.
Hello MARY,
I am with you and with all what you have written. Don't understand me wrong. I didn't want saying in general that the lists are total nonsense... no matter whether it's called "friend" or "contact" list ... what ever. I just have doubts that someone is able to chat or to speak with hundreds or even thousands of persons. Of course do we need people with whom we improve our language skills through speaking, but nobody is able to do that with so many people. I have seen someone who has about 2500 contacts. So I can calculate how long it takes to speak or to chat with everyone of them ... to speak only once with every single person will take almost 7 years. That was my intention to show and to ask about sense or nonsense.
For all which have also commented : thanks for your opinions, I really appreciate and respect every opinions, no matter if there are agreements or disagreements. It's always interesting to see the different point of views as feedback of what we think and write.
Yes it is a fact that being in 'friend list' not necessarily to be friend/s, most of them even do not fall in the list of 'acquaints'. But it is taken as a routine of a 'site'. In my list there are over 200 hundred, in spite that I mostly do not hit 'accept' button. But I know (still not very well) a few.
Good view point.
Thanks.
Nothing to say nice blog
Hi Rose,
Well written indeed, I just have different point of view with you that the first step to know a good friend in cyber world is accepting them as our friend. By time to time we will know them better with keep communication or keep in touch sometimes. What I said recently is common occuring. So it doesn't matter we have so many friends or it is approriate called a friend list, the time will proves who will deserve to be our friend.
Thanks for sharing your nice thoughts here.
Well, this site (as well as many other social sites) uses the label 'Friends', but they could have also labeled as 'Contacts', 'Language Exchange Partners', 'Potatos' or whatever... People who is there don't have necessary to be friends just because a label says so. You're the one who decides if you feel like starting a friendship with someone or not, and we all know that to build a good friendship takes more time and dedication than the time that takes just hitting 'accept' in a friend request.
After saying that, I can tell that fortunatelly for me, I can consider good friends some of the very nice people that I've in my 'friends' list here. I'm grateful for that.