ESL Blogs

As a somewhat, controversial, yet, good standing member of English Club, I always do my very best to help out all of our members. I'm a native speaker who carries a great deal of responsibility when logging into this site while joking around with the more humorous members.

The topic and subject that I'm about to relate to is somewhat of a "touchy issue" and the story is a bit symbolic in it's nature. Please don't take offense. The entire story is written with the best of intentions. It's a real life story that happened to me not long ago. It regards religious differences between American Citizens, our widely varied cultures, and how we all seem to unite and come together in this very large country that we "Yankees" call a "Melting Pot". 

My best friend (Doug) called and invited me for another good time of joking around and flying in his own privately owned small aircraft. He's a bit more fortunate than me and I always appreciate the invitation to fly with him. Doug is an ex-Vietnam/American War Veteran who's a child of Russian Jewish Immigrants that migrated to America. He flew helicopters during the conflict between our two countries and is a very skilled pilot. I personally, am a pilot that met his own demise during the Gulf War. Because of both of our own spiritual beliefs, and life experiences, "we agree to disagree". Doug is now an atheist. I'm a spiritual person who tends to lean on the teachings of Christianity, yet doesn't follow the practice too closely.

On the day my friend and I decided to take a flight, Doug insisted that I take the left hand controls of his Cessna 172. If your not a pilot, please understand, "when the owner of an aircraft offers you the left seat of his own plane, it's an honor". The left side controls of any plane our reserved for the owner or captain of the craft. This was the first time in our many flights that he'd done that and it really surprised me, but, I didn't think too much about it while joyously accepting his very generous offer. Just before take-off, that old man looked over at me and said, "Eric, follow my instructions and don't ask any questions".

Doug directed me to fly (from the airfield) towards the direction of his own very rural property. When we came within a few miles of our destination, he told me to "drop down to the deck" (or just about a hundred feet above treetop level) and slow my airspeed,then turn towards the direction of his neighbor's property instead of his.

His neighbor is a very conservative Mormon man who doesn't drink alcohol,smoke,or even enjoy coffee.

Upon approach to this guy's property (at a very low altitude), Doug reaches into his tote bag, grabs two beers, and opens the right side window of his own aircraft. Suddenly, I had the chance to look to my right and see what my friend was doing. I screamed, "Doug, you know that alcohol isn't allowed while flying!". My older friend looked calmly to his left and said this, " Don't worry Eric, these beers aren't for our own enjoyment at this time, please just fly this plane. I'm playing a joke on my good friend and neighbor". He proceeded to throw those two cans of beer out the window while in flight and come very close to hitting his Mormon neighbor's house. Instantly, the joke was understood by me. I laughed through that pilot's intercom and had to wipe the sweat and tears of joy from my face. After that whole incident, I allowed the true "captain of his craft" to safely approach the runway and land his own machine!! You all know that landing for me would of been impossible at that time because I was laughing too hard and still tingling from the joke!!

About a week later, that old Russian, Jewish, man (and pilot), invited me and the Mormon to his house for dinner (along with our families). We all came and had a great time together because that's what this melting pot that we call "America" is all about. 

It's my most true and sincerest hope that we can all share a sarcastic and good laugh (like the one that was just shared with you) sometime soon.