I would like to introduce Miles to my EC friends. On April 12 he will be adopted by my son and wife so he will become their son legally. They are foster parents, which in our country means they are li

I would like to introduce Miles to my EC friends. On April 12 he will be adopted by my son and wife so he will become their son legally. They are foster parents, which in our country means they are licensed to care for children-at-risk. Sometimes parents cannot take care of their children properly and foster parents take them into their homes and give them food, clothing, love and nurturing. Miles's parents were addicted to heroine and could no longer care for him. So after 8 months of caring for him my son and wife decided to adopt him. Usually foster children go back to their parents when the parents are rehabilitated. But this did not happen as the parents could not stop their use of heroine. The courts recently awarded my son and wife permanent custody of Miles. He is such a happy boy now and he loves his new parents as they love him.

Foster care does not always work well for children if they are passed from foster home to foster home because of behavior problems. Miles is one of the lucky ones, for sure, and so many foster parents are really good people. How does your country or culture handle children-at-risk? What do you think the pros and cons are for being a foster parent or for the children in their care? Would you want to do this kind of service or not? And what do you think about the benefits of adopting a child. What are the challenges?

Hi Bill,
Congratulations on the adoption! A touching story about Miles, who looks like a nice boy. I hope everything is going well for you and your family including Miles.
Being a foster parent can be challenging. In 2008, a lot of people here in China wanted to adopt a child who lost their parents in the massive earthquake of Sichuan. There sure were some procedures to follow when they were actually adopting a child. After the adoption and everything seemed to be settled down, they might have worried about their lives ahead with their adopted children. What if they fail to successfully educate the children? Can they keep the good relationship when the children grow up? Sometimes they may not get along with each other. And I wonder why most people here want to adopt a girl.
But adopting a child can be rewarding too.
I hope members here can pay more attention to this blog and leave their comments here.
Expector

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Comments

Bill the English Teacher May 18, 2010 4:34

Yunita,
Thanks for your comments. It is interesting how different countries handle children-at-risk. We really are bringing up our grandson as though he were our biological grandson. It makes no difference to us. I don't know that adoption is for everybody since blood (biological relationship) is very important. For us it is the love that is important. Miles will probably not see his mother or father until he is old enough to make that decision. But that is because they are addicted to heroine. Although the father apparently is in a program to become rehabilitated and we wish him the best. But it will be Miles's decision when to see his natural parents if they want to see him. And he is too young to make that decision yet.
Yunita Lestari May 18, 2010 4:00

In my country, children at risk usually handled by government. Sometimes they are sent to an orphanage. Spouses that don't have a child yet, usually adopt one from the orphanage since baby. Foster parents would not tell the true parents until the children grow up. Mostly foster parents love and care the adopted children like their own blood child.
Congratulation to your son and his new family member.
Bill the English Teacher April 16, 2010 1:54

Francesco, you are always a wise philosopher on life. It is so true that we can save those around us and well as the ones far away if we just look around ourselves.
Bill the English Teacher April 14, 2010 21:01

Thanks, Suela. I agree 100% with what you said. It is all so very true. I heard recently that a woman in the USA just returned an adopted Russian child to Russia because he was so difficult. She seems to have just hired someone to take him to the airplane and then sent him back without any assistance. I find that a terrible thing to do, even if he was a difficult child.
Bill the English Teacher March 30, 2010 20:32

Thanks Hanna. He is a sweet little boy for sure. I can't say enough about how kind he is to his baby sister. It is unusual for a boy his age. I think he is just happy to have a family of his own.
Bill the English Teacher March 28, 2010 21:17

Thanks Nucha. My opinion is that love is more important than a blood relation. There are people who have children biologically and never really love them. Miles knows he is going to be adopted, although at his age we are not sure how much he understands. He never asks about his parents although he does knows they exist. He just knows who takes care of him and that is his new family. He knows he is loved by us and we tell him how much we love him. Love is the bond between people and not blood. We are learning this more and more each day.
Expector Smith March 26, 2010 15:26

Hi Bill,
You just put it clearly. I agree with you that just having children can be risky, no matter whether the children are your biological or adopted ones. Everything could happen - who knows! Nevertheless, most people would like to have their own child.

Then, here comes another question: Does the 'blood' really matter? Some adopted children may even be more kind to their parents.
Bill the English Teacher March 26, 2010 14:40

Expectorsmith,
There definitely is a risk in adopting children because you don't know their background completely. And sometimes there are attachment problems where the child does not bond well with the parents. And my son and daughter are well educated on those risks. So far he had bonded very well with all of us and he gets along well with everyone. But children who have early traumatic experiences can display bad behavior later as teenagers. But then I have seen the same thing with natural children. Even with biological children I have seen some turn out badly. I guess just having children can have its risks. My wife and I are fortunate to have two very wonderful sons.
Expector Smith March 26, 2010 14:28

Hi Bill,
Congratulations on the adoption! A touching story about Miles, who looks like a nice boy. I hope everything is going well for you and your family including Miles.
Being a foster parent can be challenging. In 2008, a lot of people here in China wanted to adopt a child who lost their parents in the massive earthquake of Sichuan. There sure were some procedures to follow when they were actually adopting a child. After the adoption and everything seemed to be settled down, they might have worried about their lives ahead with their adopted children. What if they fail to successfully educate the children? Can they keep the good relationship when the children grow up? Sometimes they may not get along with each other. And I wonder why most people here want to adopt a girl.
But adopting a child can be rewarding too.
I hope members here can pay more attention to this blog and leave their comments here.
Expector
rose March 25, 2010 18:16

hi again
the point is that he is in safe now between you thank god for that.
Inshallah he will be ok soon and I hope he can overcome this ordeal soon ameen
I hope that every child deprived of affection can find a family like u to take care of him.

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