ESL Blogs

It was winter, all the mountains around were covered with thick layer of snow fell last night and the light flakes of ice were still falling.  Far away there was a guest house on the high mountain, light from the lone window of the only occupied room was trying to give the sense of life in the area, so as the man lonely loitering on the hillside.  He was a very handsome man in his early 30s.  He was Raaza.  The only guest in the guest house who used to come only in winter, when the other people prefer to stay in their own houses with their families before fireplace chewing dry fruits.  But Raaza was not other people.  He was different, never had any friend, always like to be alone.  He was alone this time also, but haunted by his past, when he was not alone and lived with his mother and younger brother, Faizan.  He loved him very much.   Mrs. Mariam Sarfaraz lost her husband to deadly cancer when Faizan was 4 and Raza was 7 years old.  Raaza took a deep breath and sat on a bench in the compound of the guest house. 

“Because you are not my son by birth and Faizan is my rear son!”  That was a bomb shell which exploded years ago, is still echoing Raaza’s mind.  Like always, Raaza listened to his mother with obvious calm, but the tsunami in his heart and head hammering in his brain was extremely painful.   But, he was Raaza, always Raazi (be contented) with his fate because he loved his brother and mother very much, even more, the  than only girl on earth whom he loved the most. 

He refused Naheed and told her that he did not see her in the way she expected, and she should marry Faizan as his mother and her mom wished. 

The pain in his heart was even harder when he saw Naheed staring at him with widely opened eyes full of the tear.  She ran away, he wished might she have shouted at him. But it seemed that as he had accepted the decision of fate in the same way she had done, but he was wrong.

On the wedding the day he was in his cottage all the ceremonies were going on. Everybody was very happy, but him.  He was trying hard to get some sleep.  She was standing at the door in her wedding dress, with tears in her eyes.  She was looking even more beautiful, really a fairy came down from heaven as Faizan first introduced her the very first day when he was as usual sitting by his favorite lake near their house. 

Seeing her entering into the room and closing the door behind her, he came out of his dream, she was really there.  “Wa….what are you doing here? You must be there with Faizan.”  

“Ha! So easily took your decision as I am a mere slave of your kingdom.  I was badly insulted, when you refused, and I took as challenge, only you or none, come with me and tell them that we love each other.”  She was standing before him firm and decided,

“but I can’t do this, I have already told you that I do not think about you………………..”  “LIAR!  She shouted, you are a liar, you are not true even to yourself, please do not leave me alone.  I can’t live without you, I am ready to elope with you, we will go to any place and live our lives.” 

“I am sorry Naheed, I can’t disobey my mother, I am under obligation, she has asked me to do so for Faizan.” 

“But you are also her son, how can she do it to you,……………..”

“NO, I AM NOT HER SON, I AM HER STEP SON.”  Raaza fell down on the bed and hid his face with both of his hands, 

“She has asked me to return back all her love she had given to me, cared me, brought me up, educated me, and made me a big man, now she is asking me to give her back the love she had given to me, for her real son, by stepping back and letting Faizan marry you”.  He was crying, the strong man was then broken hearted and weakened.

She was quiet, didn’t say a word.  Raaza removed his hands from his face and looked at her.  She was looking dejected; the tears were rolling down her paling cheeks.  

“So I do not have any worth in your eyes not in their eyes, you lords and ladies decided the fate of this salve.  But I am also a queen of my own kingdom,  I can take my decision myself,  I told you only you or none, if not you then this life has no value to me,……………………..she was weeping, and talking, Raaza saw her falling down on the floor.  Lots of blood was oozing out of her mouth. 

He ran towards her,

“What is this Naheed, what you have done?”  I told you, only you or no………..ne, her head tilted on aside, and a little bottle rolled down out of her palm.  She was dead.”  

So was Raaza, though living, but he was like living dead. He left her mother and brother.  Occasionally came here in this guest house where he first saw his first and last love.

He was not aware of the norms of love, so he was a looser,  sometimes he thinks that he is a killer, he killed the girl who loved him so deeply gave her life because she thought “only him or none”.