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My dear friends! As I told you I have saved the best expression for my Halloween story because it is a true horror! Ready? LOL!

Here is the sentence I read:

“I have a shoe in one leg and another leg is bare.”

Doesn’t it make you feel creepy all over? First of all, this creature has more than two legs and I can easily imagine some giant centipede, such a monster crawling along the street limping because of wearing only one shoe (nobody knows where) and very strange tights that leave one of her legs bare! Oh, man! And what has she done with the shoe? How did she manage to put it IN her leg? Did she have it implanted into her thigh, but why? Who is able to sleep after reading it? But for you to sleep well, I will explain the mistakes.

1. We put shoes on our feet. We have them on our feet. A foot is the lower extremity of a leg below the ankle. A leg is a limb from a hip to toes.
2. People have only two legs and two feet. So, speaking about two things/people and having said something about one of them, we should say “the other” mentioning the second.

So, our author should have said:

“I am having a shoe on one foot while the other is bare.”

Of course, you realize that I couldn’t help writing my Halloween story based on this great expression. So, here you are!

I was freezing. I was freezing badly! All my limbs felt numb except one. I tried to think but it was hopeless. My brain seemed to be frozen, too. I rolled myself up into a ball to warm up and wondered how easy it was to do! My body was so flexible that my legs were able to cover my head! My brain finally started functioning and the first thing to think about was “Why do I feel only one foot? What has happened with the other? Have I lost it, got it frostbitten or what?” I dared to open my eyes. I found myself lying in the deep snow right in the back yard. I started examining my body but it was not my body at all! It looked like a body of a giant caterpillar with many legs! I started counting them but I was lost! There were too many! However, I saw a shoe on one foot and one more shoe lying in the snow.

“Well, well,” I thought, “now I do know what has happened! My wife couldn’t stand my spending so much money on my footwear! She threw me out of the house together with one of my shoes for me to know the reason. What to say?” I thought, “She is right! Who will live with a man who buys 20 pairs of shoes instead of one? Should I think about plastic surgery?”

However, I was freezing and started crawling back home scaring people around. Seeing me, they rushed away with the screams of horror. Having no keys, I got in through the window crashing everything on my way with my clumsy body as I hadn’t got used to having so many legs, yet. Being horrified to death, my cats dashed away under the couch. My poor dumbfounded dog stood still in front of me paralyzed with terror. But suddenly I recalled having a parrot!  “Oh, man!” I thought, “I am caught!” feeling him lend on my head. I felt his beak dipping into my brain and…. woke up in a cold sweat hearing the voice of my wife:

“Danny, it is time to wake up and to get ready for the Halloween party.” she said smiling while stroking my hair and kissing me on the chick. I saw a smiling Halloween pumpkin sitting on my bedside table and my wife dressed like a witch. I immediately counted her legs. There were only two! I felt great relief. “At least, she needs to buy only one pair of shoes at a time! I don’t have to work one more job!” I thought kissing her back.

“Just give me a moment, darling! “ I said rolling out of the bed trying to find all my shoes and to tell the left ones from the right as I didn’t want to rub my feet that night. It took me about an hour and I promised myself, “I will be more organized in the future not to be late for work, but not tonight! It is Halloween!” I saw my wife ready to saddle me and I thought, “What trick-or-treat it will be! When we get to the witch’s Sabbath, they all will become green with envy seeing my wife riding a giant caterpillar carrying a 20 feet container with sweets on his back!” I let my wife saddle me, helped her on, took her broom into my teeth and we started out into the night…

Hahahaha!

Happy Halloween, my friends!