You know today I wanted to answer Michael's question about marriage but suddenly it became a blog :D So here I am with my opinions on marriage and couples, who live together. Let me start with the statistics: in my country around 30% of the couples, who live together as a family with the kids aren't married and this number is growing year by year. Honestly? Kind of shocking to me that instituation of marriage stopped being respectful to many people and their arguments such as: wedding won't change anything, or there are many divorces around ...aren't anything convincing to me. I am conservative and my parents got married and are still married. My grandparents were also married. To live together without marriage - well honestly depends on people, how they are able to manage it, can sometimes cause the problems to the second one. As for me a wedding day is unforgottable day of life, when a couple prove their love in front of the family members, many relatives, friends etc. and they all enjoy this day .. day when two people decided to become publicly a wife and a husband. So you see, they did this all ceremony to show others, they really mean it and created by this all a special bond which made them connected to each other. This is commitment. On the contrarery not married couples have no commitment, they just can "more easily" leave each other without divorce and start again something new but this is tooo easy and irresponsible to live like this, nah? Many are afraid of sharing finance together or don't want to lose their independance, freedom but sincerely, if they have kids, I don't understand, what they are afraid of as they both have to take care of them. My another point is that as a married couple, we share the same surname, which makes us closer and which also share our kids. Of course, that kids must feel one day a bit confused, when they realize that the surname of mom differs from the surname of dad and will start thinking, why other kids at school share the same surname with both parents..Hard to explain to them, I guess. When we travel, go abroad etc. isn't it also more comfortable to introduce ourself as a married couple instead of two strangers with different surnames? What about economic situation... As a wife and a husband (at least in my country according to our law) everything we purchase during marriage is like 50:50 and it is strong point of marriage instituation because both build up something together and both become legal owners - fair enough, right? Whereas those, who are just couples can kick the second one and make of them easy peasy homeless person because usually one live in the apartment/house whose owner is the second one. If married people decide to separate, they should devide their property and if they can't do it, a court will play its role here. If a couple breaks up, who will devide what, who will prove that one invested more than the second one and how would one of them get money back? The fact is that marriage is here also to protect people from some economic crisis but unfortunately those who show off - they don't need it, might one day learn a lesson. You know, I work with law and I see many people, who regret they didn't get married but unfortunately, it is too late because the second one had already died and as a spouse they suddenly see they aren't at the position of wife/husband - no matter how long they lived together etc., which is pretty sad. So, in my opinion if we love somebody, want to spend life with them, build up something with them - we should definately marry them because if we are afraid of sharing money or want more freedom then it isn't such relationship we would call ... fated :)
How can you trust someone when she/he is not ready sign a piece of paper that actually is just a written form of what we have already confessed in words and through actions. As long as they dont want to have kids, not getting married might be ok but the moment they decide to bring a child into this world, it's time to have the gut and sign that paper and to be husband and wife legally and publicly.
Honestly, I couldn’t agree more to you Luci, and also for a conservative point of view, there are so many advantages of being married, the official one not the “marriage” stated thru one’s bed. Though during ancient times, this pact was not that vital as it is now, good thing we are living in a modern world now, it doesn’t apply old age customary of people to see someone and eventually like that someone and then live together, so convenient right? Besides, (well, not to generalize people, case to case basis) this is an easy way out if you’re already bored to the other half, I’m thinking if LOVE is in the picture, I don’t see any hindrance not to perform the pledge in a certified manner. Otherwise, if some financial constraints are blocking the scene, but still, isn’t it absurd entering another chapter if you aren’t ready yet? This will entail the whole of us, in terms…financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually, it is a must that we are prepared.
I entirely support this content, wholeheartedly. Some will say we are just freaking conservative and moral user, might able to call us hypocrite as well, but I will stand firm with my principle, that, a family is the basic unit of society and we should start that chapter right and subsequently, it will become a solid foreground of our society. The benefits are not confined to married couples; it extends up to their children and generations to come.
Thanks, Luci, I’m truly glad, I’m not alone in this perspective.
So, here is the traditional and 'romantic' side of Luci! Hello! Nice to see you around :D
I think to get married is useful and necessary (if you have kids, mainly) because it makes easier or possible many bureaucratic issues (inheritance, medical decisions, division of assets, the right to receive a widow's/widower's pension, etc)
So, that's marriage: to sign a document. And how is the level of 'commitment' that you feel with your couple shouldn't depend on that and it should be the same before and after signing that document... because, as far as I know, that piece of paper doesn't have 'magical powers' to make you feel more 'in love' or whatever but, oh well... what do I know :P
Other thing is the celebration or 'party' that you wanna do because of the signing of that document. Well, I don't have anything against parties... even if I don't even like to celebrate my birthday haha... Everybody is free to celebrate whatever they feel like: mutual love, commitment, right to feel free to fart in bed... whatever you wanna call it :P
Anyway, love, marriage... All these is very nice but honestly... I still don't get how some couples can share the whole life together. My personal thought is that the human being is unbearable. We all are! And because of that, there should be awards for all these old couples who get to celebrate their golden wedding anniversary. If after so many years they still can stand each other (I'm not even talkin' about 'love'), hats off for them!
Comments
How can you trust someone when she/he is not ready sign a piece of paper that actually is just a written form of what we have already confessed in words and through actions. As long as they dont want to have kids, not getting married might be ok but the moment they decide to bring a child into this world, it's time to have the gut and sign that paper and to be husband and wife legally and publicly.
Honestly, I couldn’t agree more to you Luci, and also for a conservative point of view, there are so many advantages of being married, the official one not the “marriage” stated thru one’s bed. Though during ancient times, this pact was not that vital as it is now, good thing we are living in a modern world now, it doesn’t apply old age customary of people to see someone and eventually like that someone and then live together, so convenient right? Besides, (well, not to generalize people, case to case basis) this is an easy way out if you’re already bored to the other half, I’m thinking if LOVE is in the picture, I don’t see any hindrance not to perform the pledge in a certified manner. Otherwise, if some financial constraints are blocking the scene, but still, isn’t it absurd entering another chapter if you aren’t ready yet? This will entail the whole of us, in terms…financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually, it is a must that we are prepared.
I entirely support this content, wholeheartedly. Some will say we are just freaking conservative and moral user, might able to call us hypocrite as well, but I will stand firm with my principle, that, a family is the basic unit of society and we should start that chapter right and subsequently, it will become a solid foreground of our society. The benefits are not confined to married couples; it extends up to their children and generations to come.
Thanks, Luci, I’m truly glad, I’m not alone in this perspective.
So, here is the traditional and 'romantic' side of Luci! Hello! Nice to see you around :D
I think to get married is useful and necessary (if you have kids, mainly) because it makes easier or possible many bureaucratic issues (inheritance, medical decisions, division of assets, the right to receive a widow's/widower's pension, etc)
So, that's marriage: to sign a document. And how is the level of 'commitment' that you feel with your couple shouldn't depend on that and it should be the same before and after signing that document... because, as far as I know, that piece of paper doesn't have 'magical powers' to make you feel more 'in love' or whatever but, oh well... what do I know :P
Other thing is the celebration or 'party' that you wanna do because of the signing of that document. Well, I don't have anything against parties... even if I don't even like to celebrate my birthday haha... Everybody is free to celebrate whatever they feel like: mutual love, commitment, right to feel free to fart in bed... whatever you wanna call it :P
Anyway, love, marriage... All these is very nice but honestly... I still don't get how some couples can share the whole life together. My personal thought is that the human being is unbearable. We all are! And because of that, there should be awards for all these old couples who get to celebrate their golden wedding anniversary. If after so many years they still can stand each other (I'm not even talkin' about 'love'), hats off for them!