HURT INNOCENTLY
After my matriculation, I started teaching as a private tutor. One of my early students was an Iranian girl. She was very beautiful. It was my teenage; naturally, I was impressed by
her beauty. Being needy of money to earn, I controlled my emotions. I taught her for two years. By the end of this period, I almost forgot or rather was successful to suppress my feelings because I could not see the similar signs in her.
Six months later I received her call. She wanted to see me. I shocked to see the faded beauty. I asked what happened to her "Are you in love?" Her smile was like as a wound was opened and tears rolled down her white bloodless cheeks.
"Hey, I was just joking!" "But you are right," Her voice was just as of a dejected person.
"What! You didn't see me, I had been with you for two years, you didn't feel for me like this, and now you fell in love with some other guy!"
"Shit, how could I love you? You are not attractive and charming as he is" She retorted innocently and expressed her teenage feelings. It was said so innocently but I felt something heavy fell in my stomach, and if there were ears the smash inside me was definitely heard. I was feeling like a person who has lost his last in the gambling.
I pacified her of her grief and left. I decided not to see her again.
Three years later, I was going somewhere, when I heard someone calling, "Hey! Hey!! HERO"
I turned abruptly to see the caller who was coming nearer and nearer. It was her again fully grown, blushed, panting, "Hi Iqbal! How are you? You are looking so charming and handsome!”
I again felt something fell inside me, and if there were ears the CRY inside me was definitely heard. I again felt myself the looser.
Why! This time her eyes were shining with love pouring upon me. But I didn't feel that way instead I felt again that I am nothing. There was no “I” anywhere around. Not when she innocently said that I was not handsome and charming and after three years when we met again on the road and she showed her love, again I was not therearound.
It was not “I”, it was the "CHARMING and HANDSOME" I as "ME" was nowhere, before nor later. I again decided not to see her again.
The same has again happened to me recently in past two years. I was knocked and awaken from my slumber, convinced that I had been the love being sought. It happened to me for almost two years, in spite of my struggle to stay back, I was innocently held closed being the BELOVED one, then one day, I was told that I was not the one BEING LOOKED FOR, and left again SHOCKED, believing that I was RIGHT in the past because again THERE WAS NOT “I”, but SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The above story based on real facts somewhat fictionalized by me for the sake of a good literature.
Comments
Yes, Paa. There’s a bright side to everything. The bad experience in itself keeps one’s eyes open and guard up!
Keep shining Paa.. ^_*
Warda
This is life baita. It happens. So let it be.
unfortunately, We can’t bring time back, to kick some sense in ourselves. To be a better listener to the advisor. To not give in to the heart, to listen to the rational part of the brain. We are left only with the regrets and a lesson for a life time.
Thanks. ^_*
Yes Warda, I first posted this story in Livemocha, then two times here in EC. This based on the real characters I and HER, the happenings were also facts I just fictionalized them for the sake of writing. I remember number of times explaining to you in your grieve moods based of my such personal experiences.
Stories arise from the happenings in our surrounding, sometimes with us, sometimes with others. You just have the proper words in your stock and know how to use them literally.
I have been looking for this blog for past hour or two now. In the process, I found other breath taking blogs.
I Remember reading this story, a long time ago and I felt like reading it again to see how do I understand it now. As for your second story, reminds me of someone I know in real, The resistence, the giving in & Then the rejection, the Wake up call. It’s unfortunate that some people view Humans as Toys. They act like kids, They want what they can’t have. As soon as they get it, they play with it for a while and then throw it away. Then look for a new toy. Except, humans are not really toys, they have feelings.
This is one of my all time favorite stories. Keep Shining, Papa. ♥️
And Do excuse me for the inifinity mails that you must have recieved.
I believe if we truly and deeply love a person, it do not matter much even if they have some “physical deficiencies” we will only see the beauty within them, because to us they are the most beautiful person living on earth.
Just my opinion.
Thanks, Eva. I wrote this long time ago and posted when I joined EC. Maybe you had passed by my side and read it.
As your question, the answer is very much there in the quotation posted by Rose. She failed to see "who truly I was." First she didn't see the inner charm (everyone has on his/her own), second, she merely saw the physical changes.
I hope I have explained well for you to understand.
I can recall having read this before.
I do not understand the meaning of this sentence, even I read it some times;
“It was not “I”, it was the "CHARMING and HANDSOME" I as "ME" was nowhere, before nor later. I again decided not to see her again.”
Can you please explain...
Again playing with another persons feelings, that is just the lowest act ever. I like Rose’s quote, it says it all.
Look, Misha, pint has suggested you to be smart for the future! Lol Excuse me, you know, I am kidding!
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