Attention...a Need or a Whim??

Why do we like to have attention paid to us? Is it a need or just a whim? Maybe a desire to be noticed and appreciated?Everybody likes to get attention, even trying to deny it you can't hide the smile from your face when a handsome man pays a compliment to you or your boss says you are one of the best employees. A huge wave of pleasant emotions surge up in you the moment you hear some nice words or just feel the appreciation of others (though some of us may blush and feel embarrassed but...what a joy for your self-esteem!). You feel yourself worthy and start striving for self-perfection to get more attention. And...what a frustration when you did some great job or when you change your hair-style or buy some stunning dress to attract men's attention and nobody notices it!So, is it a need to make you feel confident and stimulate you? Can you achieve everything and feel completely happy without being paid any attention to? Is it some kind of a drug that brings lots of emotions and adrenalin to you and every time you want more and more or ...just another our whim...?
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  • We (humans) are weak creatures in fact :)
  • Thank you for sharing your thoughts Bob
  • I wil say that there is nothing worse than working for someone who never can give a compliment. While most people do not work for compliments (but instead for the money), what you said is true. a compliment makes you feel so good that someone noticed. If it was your boss, you are going to work so much harder to try to get that good feeling again with another compliment. There are some people who for some reason, either do not understand this or just do not want to compliment their employee when he or she has worked really hard and done something very special.

    I know I have not answered your question, but just elaborated more on the frustration of being ignored. To answer your question, my opinion is this:

    Humans are a social animal and are physically very weak compared to many animals. We have no thick hide to protect us, or dangerous claws, and our teeth are better for eating than defending ourselves. That is why humans need groups and societies to survive, because with cooperation we the naked soft creatures, can become stronger than the lion or tiger and we can defend our little group.
    Social groups form bonds which hold them together. Grooming such as picking off lice and fleas the way monkeys do to each other is one form of social bonding. Touch of the skin to one another like stroking someone's arm, is also soothing and is proven to reduce blood pressure and anxiety.
    And now, most importantly comes in language, our means of communicating. The verbal compliment from someone is the vocal equivalent of grooming or stroking the skin. It brings us closer and makes us feel soooo much better than being ignored. That is my opinion and it is based on our group and family structures seen everywhere that humans exist. It may just be "verbal" grooming but it makes people feel better and a part of the group. A boss who does not understand this should hope his people love him enough when the corporate Lion is hungry and ready for a victim to rip apart ;D

    bob
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