The Story of Emily & Tomy
Some English Club members don’t use the chatroom often; some don’t use it at all. The reason why some members prefer to stay away from the chatroom is that they don’t feel comfortable there. Why? Because they are always pestered by people they don’t want to talk to. It is more common for female members to experience this than for male members. Consequently, I rarely use chatroom (maybe just to say 'hi' to some close friends) even though the chatroom is for all English Club members.
Though I began by writing about chatroom issues, the point of this blog is not only the chatroom but the whole English Club. Nonetheless, the chatroom acts as a mirror for English Club.
In this blog, I tried to prove something about English Club. Lately, we have been discussing if English Club is seen as a flirting site or not. We are confused with some members' attitudes. It is easy to understand one’s intention by the comment he/she leaves. You can read what’s going on in his/her mind.
Emily. She joined English Club on a Friday on February 10th, at 11.30 am, excited, in the hope of making good friends while learning English.
The following day, Tomy also joined English Club with the same hope as Emily’s.
Who could know Emily was going to be luckier than Tomy? Just 15 minutes later, someone said 'hi' to Emily. Following that person another one, and another one… In the first hour, Emily made 10 friends; 9 males, 1 female. Tomy, in his first hour, could make only one buddy. After their first chat in English Club, Emily and Tomy joined chatroom in the afternoon, evening and night each for one hour. At the end of the day, Emily made 28 friends (27 males, 1 female) while Tomy made only 2 friends (both males).
Though many of Emily’s friends want to improve their English, there are some who just want to flirt with her. That’s unfortunately possible since society is made up of a variety of people. Even though English Club is a great site to learn English, share ideas and meet friends quickly, maybe, we are not able to prevent all the bad eggs from abusing this site. We can, however, decide who is a good friend and who is here to learn English without any other intentions.
It’s difficult to differentiate if someone is flirting with you or just being nice. As you can see from the result of my experiment, there aren't too many guys who just “want to be friends”, I don't care what they say. “You are female, and I am interested in you. So let’s be friends!” I view flirting on a site where people want to learn English, and flirting with someone whom you have never met a selfish, malevolent game, and I find it unacceptable.
Virtually anything you can do in the offline world you can do in the virtual world. And, that includes flirting with those you meet through online learning sites. For some, it becomes easier if the other person is receptive too. Lots of us might not realize this since we’ve all come to know learning here as being friendly.
Let’s stand up against those who think that they are flirting with other people without their knowledge. Well, we know what you are doing. Can you just find another site for yourself? English Club is and will always be for learning English!
Thank you very much teacher Francois Oosthuizen for correcting my mistakes.
Comments
@ Miley,
Thanks for helping me to kick them out Miley. :) Yeah.... I hope they will find other sites for themselves.
@ Nguyen Tien,
Well…. I really don’t know. Maybe, it is bcoz you are using an alien’s photo as your avatar, or maybe you are new here. Try to write some blogs, I am sure you will make good friends. Good luck!
@ Nataly,
What do you mean Nataly? Emily&Tomy are fake; I created them just to do my experiment. haha…
I can imagine your situation. There are people who even dare to flirt with married people. This shows how far a dirty mind can go. I am happy that after this disgusting chat you didn’t leave EC. Some new members leave EC just bcoz they see how the chatroom works.
@ Friend,
I thought girls face this problem more than guys. It seems you experienced something like this as well. When was that your last chat? May I know? :)
Excellent topic!
wow..good topic, good discussion!
well done! hey hey, i think some of the chatters did flirts with me without me noticing it. grrr..
anyway, nice written!
Peace, ^_^
Indeed I found here a strange world, I'm still discovered here, I see thousands of faces, I can not judge everyone but I can ignore of bothers me
Hey Yas,
Kudos for coming up with a great blog! I'm not an active chatter either. I noticed too, that online maniacs are not contented on chat alone, they even write nasty or rude remarks on blogs and discussions. Thank goodness, there's delete button. Ms. Tara and Anele were right, ladies should ignore those people and not to provoke them. Men are very visual people, its easy for them to get the attention of a woman with beautiful avatar, especially if she included a little bit of skin, perhaps a cleavage.
Thanks for sharing this experiment! You triggered the desire of real EC members to be vigilant and report someone who crosses the line. : )
Beware of these bad eggs!
Find another site for yourself, fellas.
@ Lama,
You are lucky Lama not to be harassed. I also can’t say I have a bad memory about being pestered, but I awfully feel indisposed when I see those people who are flirting here. For example, once I saw a guy flirting with someone in the public. He was just leaving comments including kind of romantic words. This guy, in the chatroom, said ‘hi’ to me. I didn’t respond, but I hate it when a flirter writes to me. I also don’t talk with strangers, just talk with people I already know.
Thanks Lama-chan to be with me! heheh…
@ Ultimate,
Ulti-kun, thanks for your wishes.
@ Diggy,
I liked the pic you posted. Hey Diggy! Do you really flirt here? I hope not so…
@ Nishank,
Thanks for the story. It is really motivating. But, the conclusion is not about our topic. Maybe, the part that Columbus kindly responded his friend. Does it mean we should be kind and respond the flirters here?...hahah… You are right, most of the girls never write back to the flirters. In my opinion, this is the right thing, because after a while they will see this place is not for them and they themselves will leave. So, trying to talk with them never works, it just extends their existence time here.
I agree with you. New chatroom makes my browser slower, too. Also when I write something, I see it in the window after seconds. But, I don’t need another chatroom in EC. I can contact my friends through other sites.
PS. Unfortunately, Tomy and Emily deleted their accounts.
@ Dewan,
People who are interested in flirting of course don’t write to only Emily. They try their chance with almost every girl. You are wrong in one way. It works like this. One guy offers maybe 10 girls but he gets a response maybe from 2. But, a girl maybe receives 20 requests in an hour. Emily was a new member, so she wasn’t popular at all, though she received many requests. If I log in the chatroom and wait there, I will receive 100 requests! hahaha…..joking….:P
I agree with your second point. Maybe not all the people who wrote to Emily wanted to flirt with her. Some just wanted to have a chat and be friends. But, that’s why I brought Tomy to the research. Can you see the ratio? 1/14… Why do you think Emily was luckier than Tomy. Simply, she was female. That’s all.
BTW, Dewan-chan! I am great. What about you my friend?
@ Raj-taro,
Valentine’s gift? hahah… Are you crazy Raj-taro? If I gave this as a Valentine’s gift to you, it would be a terrible gift.
People who are here to find a flirt partner or partners not only do their activities in the chatroom but also other parts of MyEC too. I see these people’s activities everyday, and I am fed up with it. They send messages to each other in the public as if nobody watches them. But, the chatroom is the best place for them to flirt. Raj, do you want me to send you my evidence everyday when I catch those flirters? No need, right? Today I sent you one.
So, you know dating sites. Can you send me some of the best ones? I will sign up!!....hahah… I loved your hypothesis about male and female. Attraction between male and female is natural! hahah…
Poor Raj-taro, MyEC is not a dating site, nor a flirting, and never will be. Nobody says it is. But, you can’t deny the reality that many male members are here just to flirt with females if they can find one. I have difficulty in the chatroom just bcoz of this. Why didn’t the same people write to Tomy, but all of them wanted to chat with Emily? Coz you are a poor male you cannot understand the severity Emily has.
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