One day, I had been on the way to one of my sisters
when I was suddenly stopped by two misters.
The one of them has been very small and so thin
The other was tall but he looked like his twin.
They men wore black suits, white shirts and a tie,
the one of them has been chatty, the other was shy.
They asked me whether I could do them a favor.
And I suddenly had in my mouth a bad flavour.
At the corner stood friends with some boxes of wood,
they looked very kind and their mood has been good.
When we came to the group, they was looking so happy,
they shaked my hands but one of them was a bit snappy.
I gave her a smile but this has not changed her mood,
I ignored it, I was thinking she was not feeling so good.
I was unable to guess what they wanted from me.
They laughed and one of them showed me a ribbon with key.
I was wondering what that key would probably mean
but then I saw there was coming a car, it was green.
The door has been opened and inside of the car
There was sitting my sister, in her hands holding a jar.
Within the jar there was stucking a paper with print,
and that print has given me the important hint.
"Someone, who always forgets the day of his birth
should been called as the greatest fool on the earth."
When I looked at her face and I saw how she did grin,
then I felt how a shiver was running over my skin.
Then I started laughing, it was suddenly clear
that I had forgotten my birthday... like every year.
Comments
Thanks so much, dear Paula.
I really appreciate your effort. You did correct my peoem without to change the sense. You know? I was really a little embarrassed because of a few of my mistakes. A few of them shouldn't have happened. I'm going to correct my mistakes soon. Thanks again for your help.
Thanks, dear Marshaa for stopping by and reading my poem. I am happe you like it.
dear rose, Nice to red your beautiful & interesting poem. Liked it, thanks for sharing,
Rosemary.......I understand completely.......sometimes we must only do what we can.......and believe me......I applaud you.......for there is no shame in being self taught.
One day I had been on the way to one of my sisters,
When I was suddenly stopped by two misters.
One of them appeared very small and so thin.
The other was tall, but he looked like his twin.
The men wore black suits, white shirts, and a tie.
One of them chatty, while the other was shy.
The asked me whether I could do them a favor.
And I, suddenly, had in my mouth a bad flavor.
At the corner stood friends with some boxes of wood.
They looked very kind and their mood seemed so good.
When we came to the group, they were looking so happy.
They shook my hands, but one was a bit snappy.
I gave her a smile, that did not change her mood.
I ignored it, though thinking she was not feeling so good.
I was unable to guess what they wanted from me.
They laughed, and then showed me a ribbon tied to a key.
I was wondering what the key could possibly mean,
But I saw a car coming, it's color was green.
The door had been opened, and inside of the car
There was sitting my sister, her hands holding a jar.
Within the jar there was stuck a paper with print.
And that print was giving me an important hint.
"Someone, who always forgets the day of his birth,
should be called the greatest fool on the earth."
When I looked at her face and saw how she did grin.
I felt such a shiver running over my skin.
Then I started laughing, it was suddenly clear.
I had forgotten my birthday.....as I do every year.
Rose I do not expect you to change your poem........these poems that you write today will be memories of a time when you were practicing your English........as you learn more and more......your poems will change also.........and you will use the correct wording......and you will still have your rhythm and your poems will be even more amazing..........!!!!!
ELF-Noor, thanks so much for your nice comment.
I try keeping writing but it's not always so easy to find a nice topic.
Really interesting poem..
You are talented, keep it up..
Never stop writing Poems..
Dear Paula, I am aware about my problems. It's only, sometimes I make a compromise in terms of the rhyme or rhythm .... but also often is my English not good enough to write a better poem.
Writing poems is for me a good way to improve my skills. I startet writing when I started learning your language. I never had classes or courses in English language, everything I know is just self-education. So I never will be a perfect English speaker or writer. It was my goal to beable to communicate with people and I think I am on a good way.
Thanks for your nice words and I would be grateful if you could tell me about my wording problems in this my poem... (Even if I wouldn't change my poem.... )
Dear Adalina Bala,
Dear Kal,
thanks so much for your nice comments.
"Someone, who always forgets the day of his birth
should been called as the greatest fool on the earth."
What a great poetess you are? You have described emotions nicely.
Thanks for sharing dear Rose,
Lovely!
Thanks for sharing!
Well Done!
-
1
-
2
of 2 Next