outline:
1 introdution: Some people think sports occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. And i think that is a option, but not essential way.
2 body:
1 pro-argument
A, opinion: In the sports occasions, there is no boundary and just having the common sportsmenship and destination of winning, that result in more communication and understanding.
B,example:1974, China's famous 'PingPang diplomacy' and Olympic occasions.
2 counter-argument
opposite opinion: Sports occasions do not just have benefits but also cause voilence and strifes because of over-releasing patriotic emotions for being the winner.
3 conclusion:
Every coin has two sides, building sports occasions for easing misunderstanding and strengthening communication is really a enforceable method.
Some people think sports occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions. I agree with part of this opinion, to my point, I prefer using 'probable' to 'essential'.
As we know, sportsmenship has no boundary among the countries all over the world. Every aspiring athelet is focus on improving their skills in order to make their sports dream come true. Without considering of politics, religion, and race, people just enjoy in sports! Also, countries which are involved in the sports occasions are eager to get their best achievements with the equal standerd in a harmonious environment. As the result, people have precious chances to realize each other peacefully. I do believe that situaion is all people and countries' hope with nature.
About the successful example, here is it. A famous diplomacy called 'PingPang diplomacy', which was proposed by ex-president and most brilliant leader of China Mao Ze Dong, started a new age of diplomacy relationship between China and United States. Chinese players of table tennis went to visit America for teaching and communicating skills with American players. In fact, that's really a remarkable turning in histories of China and America. Despite two countries still had a lot of different opionions inevitably, Americans started to read new china again with throwing the old minds.
On the other hand, some opponents claim that sports occasions will cause new arguments even voilences or riots because of over releasing patriotic emotions for being winner. Honestly, that's definitely a problem. However, is there any diplomacy could guarantee of resolving all the international problems without any negative impact? I don't think so, please let sports diplomacy be a option of easing international tensions. At least, it's better and safer than military intervention or other forced way.
In conclusion, every coin has two sides, building sports occasions for easing misunderstanding and strengthening communication is really a enforceable method.
Replies
hello. Here is my comment
When I read your introduction, I did expect that there is one argument to support the idea, and one argument to deny the ideas, because you just "partly agree" with the idea, right? If you say "I partly agree", you must point out which part you agree upon, and which part you disagree upon. However, in the Body, you just "agree", not "disagree", (at least I could not find any "disagree" in your essay) so it conflicts with the introduction.
I know that you dont think it is "essential", just "probable". If you want to prove that idea "probable", i am afraid that you have to organize your essay in a different form. for example, 1st, the benefit of sports in reducing tensions, 2nd, the other methods to reduce tensions which are more effective than sports.
However, to make a strong argumentative essay, you should totally agree or disagree with the opinion (though you dont actually think so, hehe) so that your pro-arguments and counter-argument will best support your ideas.
You dont make a lot of mistakes. and here I come with mistake-checking
Some people think sports occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions. I agree with part of this opinion, I partly agree with this opinion, to my point, I prefer using 'probable' to 'essential'.
As we know, sportsmenship sportsmanship has no boundary among the countries all over the world. Every aspiring athelet athlete is focus focuses on improving their skills in order to make their sports dream come true. Without considering of politics, religion, and race, taking politics, religions and races into consideration/ considering politics, religions and races important people just enjoy enjoy themselves in sports / enjoy sport! Also, countries which are involved in the (no article) sports occasions are eager to get their best achievements with the equal standerd standard in a harmonious environment. As the result, As a result, people have precious chances to realize each other peacefully. I do believe that situaion is all people and countries' hope with nature.
About the successful example, here is it. A famous diplomacy called 'PingPang diplomacy', which was proposed by ex-president and most brilliant leader of China Mao Ze Dong, started a new age era of diplomacy relationship between China and United States. Chinese players of table tennis went to visit America for teaching and communicating skills with American players. In fact, that's really a remarkable turning in histories of China and America. Despite Despite the fact that/ though two countries still had a lot of different opinions inevitably, Americans started to read new china again with throwing the old minds.
On the other hand, some opponents claim that sports occasions will cause new arguments even voilences or riots because of over releasing patriotic emotions for being winner. Honestly, that's definitely a problem. However, is there any diplomacy could guarantee of resolving all the all international problems without any negative impact? I don't think so, (spoken language) please let sports diplomacy be a option of easing international tensions. At least, it's better and safer than military intervention or other forced way.
In conclusion, every coin has two sides, building sports occasions for easing misunderstanding and strengthening communication is really a an enforceable method.(the conclusion is too short. It is ideal that your introduction and conclusion has 2=< sentences=<4)
okay, let discuss a bit.
When I read your introduction, I did expect that there is one argument to support the idea, and one argument to deny the ideas, because you just "partly agree" with the idea, right?
-------yes, so i say i want to use 'probable ' to instead of 'essential'. The part of opponion thinking it's essential way is the part i don't agree.
thank you MY, you are really a nice teacher~~ I do believe.
Hehe, many classmates tell me that I will be a strict teacher in the future who highly requires from others. Sorry if what i am going to say make you feel bored and ... (any uncomfortable feelings)
i understand what you meant. However, once again, if you stated that you did not agree "it it an essential way", you have to prove it in your Body. don't just state it in the Introduction, and then ignore it in the Body. Where were the ideas in the Body to prove that you think "it is probable" instead of "it is essential"? State it in Introduction, and develop it in Body or ignore it in Introduction and ignore it in Body. That's what makes a strong argumentative essay or any essay, i suppose. ^_^
Sorry for being rude and opinionated. But that is what i think!!!
no ,no. i don't feel bored~ and you are not rude.
but, you are really a strict teacher~ that's true. hehe :)