• At the end of the story, I think Emily's answer would like other girl's that making an excuse to put Joan off.Due to that Emily is afraid of been ridiculed.But it's not her fault.If Joan can change herself,become optimistic and conversable.Her classmates will change their attitude toward her.I always believe that if one person don't like you may not means that you are a bad man,but if many people don't like you must means that you have shortcomings,like Joan.If she can overcome her bashfulness she will make friends with her classmates.
    I believe that the majority of people have bad habits, including me .One of my bad habits is staying up late. Since l went to college,I always play computer or surf the lnternet in the midnight,so that l have no drowsiness even at 2 o'clock in the moring .But due to the habit,l always get up later. l should break the bad habit from now on.l must restrain myself from sleeping late at night. And don't play computer or mobile phone before sleep,try to sleep early then get up early.(^_^)
    • Luo Yuanyuan, thank you for this good comment. You have mentioned some interesting points! I think you are absolutely right that in real life, Emily would have followed the (bad) example of her other friends and would have given Joan another lame excuse for not being able to attend her party. Why? Because in today's world popularity is too important in most people's eyes, I believe. She would sacrifice a possible good friendship with Joan for many other friendships and popularity. However, I can't agree with you that Joan has to bear the blame for that! People have different personalities. Joan's personality includes shyness (and remember, the passage also mentions that she is not regarded as attractive by some of Emily's other friends). So, they are discriminating against her based on her personality and her looks! How disgusting! I hope Chinese girls are not like that! Bashfulness, being shy, shouldn't be looked upon as a bad characteristic. Shy girls also have a place in society. Some people (like me!) prefer to befriend shy students rather than the popular ones (who are mostly fair-weather friends, btw!).

      But another point you are making, is calling for some discussion too ...! You said: ".... if many people don't like you it must mean that you have shortcomings ..". What that implies, is that when, for example, a billion people say or believe something, even if it isn't true, one should believe them just because they are in the majority and then they must be right! That is so far from the truth than the East is from the West! So, when a billion Chinese people believe and say there is no God, it means they are right? Far from it! In China, for example, about 50 to a 100 million people believe and say God exists and He is real. I would rather believe them, the minority, because I know that is truth! So, do you see my point? In real life today, I am careful for majority opinion, as I know from experience that it is not always based on truth, but on popular belief by people who don't want to admit their beliefs are wrong (and thus losing face). So, be careful about that view!

      Oh, btw, on the above point about what other people believe about you ... I can give you another example! I am quite unpopular among teachers and other older Chinese (mostly men!), I know. In the beginning I would get invited for dinners and even on outings (by those who can speak some English!), but when they discover that I don't have the same habits than them (like drinking when having meals, and sometimes complaining about the smoking where people eat), they change their minds about me and I won't be invited any longer. So, if your statement is correct, then something is wrong with me and that's why they - the majority - reject me and I don't get invited anymore! But you know what? I don't care! Because my character, my beliefs, and my principles are not determined by majority vote! It is determined by my own beliefs in truth. ;-)

      Is staying up late really such a bad habit?! I also have that habit of staying up late, and then preferring to sleep later! I always thought it was a good habit ..! ;-) But reading again what you said, I noticed you mentioned staying up till around 2am only because playing on your computer or phone ... Haha, then I have to agree with you that it is a bad habit (I usually retire to be at midnight!); and maybe you need to break that habit! ;-)

  • In my opinion, everyone will have some bad habits, like me, I would love to bite my nail when nervous or thinking about something. As the article said,firstly, we should face our bad habits, only to face up that you would want to correct. The second is to insist on, I know a person's habits is not easy to change, you will meet many setbacks, at this time is that you can do, hold on to. The last is to encourage yourself, this will keep you motivated.
    • Zhang Ke, do you still have that habit of biting your nails?! Do you want advice to stop it? If so, Sun Huanmeng can help you; I know her method is a successful one! ;-)

  • I think that if I am the Joan's feiend,I will help the girl a lot.I am an outgoing girl,and I am so pleased to make friends with some people.In my opinion,Joan need some help,her feiends should volunteer to give their hands to her.I believe that she will become more and more nice and outgoing with the help of us.
    Everyone has some bad habit,we should try our best to break these habits.First,we should admit our habit.And we must make some conscious effort.And then you will make some progress.
    • I can see you are an outgoing girl, Lu Wenjun! So, it would be good to have you around when there is a shy girl who needs a friend! I agree with you that in order to break a bad habit, one should first admit that it is a bad habit; otherwise there is no need to quit the habit! ;-)

  • Yeah, it’s really embarrassing to say one’s shortcoming, especially to talk about some bad habit that one nearly cannot get rid of. As for me,I think the most annoying bad habit is that I always go somewhere at deadline , for example, I plan to go somewhere for a meeting, as plan goes that I should be there in 18:30, I’d usually like to be there at around 18:28.But it’s weird that I cannot get rid of this habit. Hope I could change myself someday.
    • Long Yuan, can you entertain us with your computer again tomorrow, please?! Thank you.

      I had the same bad habit of always getting to an appointment or class or meeting at the time it is about to start! When I was still in my country, it often meant that I had to speed in my car to get somewhere on time. I got a few speed fines for that habit! I still do not like to waste too much time before getting to a meeting, but I have changed the habit over the last few years. My brother is the same and hasn't changed at all. I hate it to go with him to appointments as he is always speeding through traffic and is mostly late too! maybe you will unlearn the habit one day when you realize how unhealthy it is! :)

      Btw, Xu Yang said he has a temper ... Is that true?! I can't believe it; he looks like such a "happy go lucky" boy!

  • If I were Emily,I would go to the party.Joan invited her classmates to go to the party.It's so difficult to a shy person.She need Emily’s encouragement and support if Emily is a real nice girl and feel sorry for Joan.This is a chance to Emily to be good friends with Joan.Emily should help Joan be a part of her class.Then she could be called a "nice girl".
    As we all know it isn't easy to break a bad habit even we all know it's harmful to us.My suggestion is replace it with another habit or a beneficial way you like.I bit my nails ,then I broke the habit in painting nail polish.I will not bite my nails again even I take off the nail polish.I also heard that some somkers stop their cravings in chewing nicotine gum.The more important is the strong will which can overcome all things including bad habits.Although it is not so easy to get rid of a bad habit, many people have succeeded in doing so, setting us good models. We should learn from these models and go out of our way to do away with our bad habits, whatever it takes.
    • Thank you for writing another good comment, Shelly. I agree, if Emily would have the conviction to go to Joan's party, she and Joan would become good friends, because then she'd weighed the consequences and decided that she would risk the ridicule or even friendships with the others. Yes, then she would deserve the label, "nice girl"!

      It's good advice to replace a bad habit with something else. Your cure for biting nails is a clever one! I heard of many in my own country doing that with success! Smokers are another story ... and alcoholics too. Firstly, they have to admit that it is a bad habit. If they don't believe that, they would never quit - studies have revealed that over and over again. I remember my days as a smoker when I was young. I started in my final school year because it was so cool and like some classmates, I wanted to show I am "grown up" now! I used to smoke for seven years. For two years I tried to quit, but month after month I started again (after quitting for a few days). Till one day when I was at university (I only started my studies when I was 25!), I got my breakthrough. We were doing cycling as sport and I noticed my fellow students feeling so great after a hard practice ride in the afternoons after class, while I myself was coughing my lungs out and felt miserable. I then realized it was the smoking and as I wanted to become as good as them (without suffering so much), I finally quit for keeps!

      You mentioned role models (people that had success from quitting bad habits), but not all role models today are good models to follow! But I understand what you mean; it they could do it, we can follow their example in quitting. :)

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