I can hear somewhere very far away from me alarm clock but I am so tired to turn it off. Suddenly, I realized it all and I am totally lost. The mornigns are always the worst for me. To accept the reality. Just… why me? Why I got so deep? I feel like soon I will reach the bottom, bottom of my empty soul, which is trying to fight, using the last energy. But how much is left? Few seconds, minutes, days? Hard to guess because the feeling, unbearable feeling I feel on my chest is like a huge stone which precludes me from taking a breath. I desperately need to feel the fresh air in my lungs, I need inspiration to live since I am lost so deep in the black ocean of the darkness. Can´t see the way back. The sorrow is trying to kill me. Anyway, I am brave, my inner voice is scolding me: Get up, coward!!! You must move on!! I closed my eyes, started concentrating on the best moments of my life, reacalled them all. Second by second warm started flooding my body. I am little bit happy, I am happy in my past as I can see. My memories are now my great friends I can´t live without. I realized that this process of getting back into my past gave me indescribable feeling and it also gave me the energy to wake up, to go out and to fight against the „jungle“ I am surounded by.
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Comments
emptiness feeling is worst than hurting, i feel the same way sometimes and it really sucks. being alone when you're down makes it more worst, but the only thing to beat it is to accept what was happened..live with it for awhile and move on. we are lucky to have friends and family that are concern, and someone whom we can share out deepest thoughts and sentiments freely. nice blog sis luci:D
El, thanx for support, buddy :)
Luzzy, I like this sentence and always try to do it, figuring out something good, something interesting, something inspiring to move on. Life at times becomes so hard and tired that darkness seems to be a crazily good comfort to sink deeply in... Anyways I know you are now doing that good, by finding yourself a reliable dependence... Cheer up!
Very brave of you to do that,, because I also have gone through this horrible situation once, and I tell you it was not easy to overcome this depressing state, but anyway there is always something positive in life that is hidden from us, until we realize its right before us :)
Since sometimes the current situation isnt easy why not to use the past for a while to make the things better..