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Comments
hello, Thuy. here is my comment on your writing.
First of all, i dont think the way you organize ideas is good enough. Sorry but i must tell you the truth so that you can change the organization of your essay.
1. Introduction: there seems no connection among three sentences. if you translate them into Vietnamese, you will see.relationship => custom=> arranged and unarranged (is custom related to arranged and unarranged much?)
If i were you, I will write like this, "Marriage is an important event in each person's life because it decides the couple's life. there are two common types of marriages which are arranged marriage and unarranged marriage. these two kinds are different from each other in terms of the right to select partner, the couple's happiness and the rate of divorce.
Though it is not really a good introduction, but i just write it down so that you can see the connection among three sentences.
2. Here is my comment on your mistakes.
relationships are the most important things in life and marriage is one of the most important relationships. different regions have different customs for marriages. arranged and unarranged marriages in terms of the selection of marriage partner, the happiness of couple ,and the rate of divorce. Arranged marriage and unarranged marriage differ in terms of the right to select partners, the couple’s happiness and the rate of divorce.
one obvious difference is the selection of marriage partner. in arranged marriages,the parents of the bride and the groom who have no say at all??? decide on the marriage; and love-if it develops-is supposed to follow marriage, not precede it. they cant choose a half who is really suitable for. on the other hand, in unarranged marriages,the boy and the girl are attracted to each other.partners wont don’t need be need the consent of the parents. individual have has rights to choose their own partners.
comparing both two types of marriages we notice another difference. there that is the happiness of couple that affects their life in the future. in arranged marriages, the couple cant know anything to each other don’t comprehend each other, so they are unlikely to be happy. the husbands seem to be dominant person over the wives. women also has have to sacrifice more in the marriage than men. however, in unarranged marriages they have high possibility to find their love and have a lot of chance to do what they like. as a result, no one seems to be dominant over the other and their marriage is a partnership of equals equality
3. you havent finished your essay yet, right? because it lacked the last idea of "the rate of divorce" and the conclusion.
That's all I want to say. sorry if my fierce comments offend you. later on, i think you should start an discussion instead of writing comment so that other members can check your writing. they will not notice your writing if you write in Comment, i suppose.
keep moving forward. hope to see more essays from you.
Thuy,
I must say that if you want to find the ideas for any writings, they are always available on google. Just search it, collect and then select appropriate information.
I think you'd better come up with your outline or your essay so that other members can have comments on your ideas as well as grammar mistakes.
Hope to see your new essays here!!!
normally, it is reasonable to compare between love marriage and arranged marriage. i have never seen any topic like this. I think you can make a roughly reasonable outline like this:
1. The people who decide the marriage
- Arranged marriage: other people, not the couple
- unmarriage: people themselves to be single or not.
2. People's happiness
- arranged marriage: The couple may not match, so they are unlikely to be happy
- unmarriage: people have high possibility to find their love, also have a lot of chance to do what they like => happy
3. The rate of divorce
- Arranged marriage: pose high rate of divorce if two people do not love each other
- unmarriage: pose no risk to high rate of divorce
I know it is not a good outline because it is not parallel as well as clear. However, with this topic, I am really speechless. Hope that you can get something useful out of this mess I've created.
BR,
My
It's perfect idea to create such as this group. I'm really in need to improve my writting skills as well as know the essentials of convenient essay. I like discuss of any point amid any text so as to enlarge my cognitive balance.
Thank you My Nguyen, and Congratulation!!!
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