Writing Challenge #25: 7 Secrets to...(oops it's a secret).Read it to Find Out!

What can I say? Deuce is still alive so you have no choice except to read this blog or I will chase you to death by leaving constant comments on your page reminding to read it (that was supposed to be a kind of threat).
So guys today I'm going to share with you the most cherished secrets...shhhhhh...just don't tell anybody...
secrets how to be the best teacher of English in the whole world of all ages and all climes for ever and ever.
Hey! Passionate and devoted English learner! I know you want to ask me a very good question right now in a very polite way: "Why on earth I should read this?I'm not a teacher" but don't haste to leave...a surprise is waiting for you.
So be attentive as usual but don't skip sentences and don't even try to fool me by reading just the beginning and the ending and leaving a casual comment. Read every word or you will miss something very important. Don't forget that I'm keeping my sharp eagle eye on you!
Okay, my tips! Don't even think: "Finally she stopped talking"... I know you are very inquisitive and impatient so here we go...
Attention please!
The greatest 7 secrets for teachers to become a good teacher and for students (yes, exactly, that's my surprise for you) to become a good student:
1) Confidence..
For teachers:
You should be confident of your knowledge, show your students that you know the language perfectly. Even when somebody asked you to explain the meaning of "Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" (by the way, don't look for this word now, find it later, now just finish your reading) don't give way to panic, just make a very sophisticated expression and under the pretext that you want to teach students to search information themselves, just say :"Good idea! Thank you. It will be your homework". Now you can say "Phew!Evaded (at the same time relishing the look of your student's sour expression).
For students:
You should be confident during the lessons or lectures no matter what.
Even when you are too busy at the lesson having a debate with your friend over a very important topic (your favourite animated cartoon) and the teacher warns you and reproaches you for bad discipline...No way! In the most convincing way tell her that you were listening very attentively and it's she who was talking.
2) Endless energy.
For teachers:
Never show your students that you are tired even when you can't talk just give them a test and enjoy the silent rustle of your students cheating.

For students:
Even if you spent the whole night at some club dancing, eyes are half closed you are so sleepy and there is a very important test waiting for you to be taken...cheer up!
That's what you should do...

Relax, you will pass it later. Just make sure you have a good rest as your health is more important.
3) Endless patience.
For teachers:
No comment, just a picture...

That's a very good way to calm yourself down! Well, yeah.Good luck!
For students:
You think you are fed up with those "senseless" continuous assignments? You think they will never end? Well...you are right. So mate, just pluck up your courage! Look at the teacher...she or he is already desperate thinking that by writing all those things she will calm down. Poor thing!
4) Enthusiasm.
For teachers:
Be always enthusiastic of what you do. Assure your students that English is the most important thing in their lives.
Never, under no circumstances show them the following...

For students:
Have you read the above information? So, never believe a teacher!
5) Articism.
For teachers:
You know, a teacher is like an actor, she or he should play constantly (hiding her real feelings, emotions, tiredness, anger and so on and so forth) but do you know what is the difference between the two professions? The actor is just playing but a teacher should play and teach at the same time. Hey, hey, don't assume too much and pack your things and go to Hollywood! Just read my blog.
For students:
Well...what can I say? If you are are a talented actor you will get through all the exams and quizes.
6) Creativity.
For teachers:
Be creative...hmmm...errrrrr...oops...I ran out of ideas.
That's the right example for you: you should never say this, you should say :"I'm always full of new ideas".
For students:
If your little head is full of creative ideas just relax and enjoy the process of learning.
When you are asked to solve the mathematical equation and the teacher told you that you did it in a wrong way just tell her that it's a unique way of solving it and contrived solely by you.
7) Good, very good health.
For teachers:
Dear teachers! Take care a good care of yourself and don't let your students stress your brain too much.
Sorry if I'm late with my tips and you are already in a mental hospital.
For students:
You really should be very healthy.When sitting at the desk nervously fumbling the paper and answering some strange questions you have no idea of or learning and cramming all night long before the exam, make sure you take some medicine or you will end up in a hospital with a heart attack.

Good luck my friends! Just love what you do and you will not need any tips for a great success!

My 3 step marketing plan.
1)I will share the link to my blog post with my friends by leaving a notice on their walls.
2) I will make an advertisement of my blog and upload it to MyEC Picture Gallery.
3) I will share the link on EnglishClub.com's Facebook page.

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Comment by parseh on April 23, 2011 at 22:27

hi dear deuce666,

it is a really wonderful and nice topic for students and teachers....

thank you ..

Comment by M karim on December 23, 2010 at 12:52
sory to be tooooooooooooooooooo late.but I read each word.hahahahahahahah.fantastic and Excellent my friend.I remembered that when I was a student I thought that my teacher knows everything in the world.when i go home I say to my mum my teacher said ..... and my teacher said....... and my teacher said .......  Yes,he may be knew these tips.thanks alot.LoL
Comment by student on December 21, 2010 at 6:05

hi deuce

it's 4 u...........

 

By letting it go it all gets done. the world is won by those who let it go.
but when you try and try .the world is beyond the winning.

Comment by Andrew on December 18, 2010 at 13:07

hi

Comment by amal hope forever on December 10, 2010 at 20:37

Hey Deuce !Satirical as is,this is real.This is what actually happens inside our educational institutions(a sort of cunning teacher_student relationship results from well_understanding of each other plans).YOU KNOW!I can draw your character from your blogs,because you are a good writer.Good writers make their works a piece of them ,they always leave their finger_prints inside.

Comment by Rosenmaiden on December 8, 2010 at 18:58
Hello, Deuce 666!
Sorry, I'm late, because I'm afraid your "sharp eagle eye"! Ha-ha-ha! So, I have read every word! Wonderful opus! It sparkles with inexhaustible wit! I have read your blog with the greatest pleasure!
All of your secrets are really useful piece! All of them really work!
As for my own teacher's practice... In every class (form) there are pupils, who ask "uncomfortable" questions... The answers aren't interesting to them... They want to confuse a teacher... When I started my working at school and answered all the questions, I saw a great disappointment in the eyes of pupils... Ha-ha-ha!
But soon, I was bored to death with their bothering and pestering! I began to return their questions as the homework! And all questions were put an end! Ha-ha-ha!
Thank you for your blog again!
I wish you a great success! :-)
Comment by deuce666 on December 5, 2010 at 8:03
I try to be a good student, really :))
Comment by Rabab on December 5, 2010 at 7:48
Hahahaha Deuce,
That's really brilliant .
You must be a good student your self, I mean good not good ;)
Nice blog I enjoyed it..Thanks
Comment by deuce666 on December 4, 2010 at 17:14
Actually, it's the most tiresome work to find the suitable pictures :))
Comment by Maksim on December 4, 2010 at 16:58
It's funny and positive opus. And quite wise; By the way - how do you find such expressive photos, which you use in your posts to emphase your words;

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