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I remember the tenderness with which Anele tried to soothe my Twin and me all my life. We had lost our parents after a fire incident and since then Anele, she was older than us, was like a mother to us. Now, I have the agony which I awoke with after all these years, and turned my eyes, so tearful and dull, to the walls, all over stone cold, away from making a home, with the dim light, which is pallid to me, and yet more pallid each day. Gradually, I got used to the silence and to the dim light which surrounded me and forgot that if time had ever been running until she, whom I have been waiting for, arrived – Charos.
Vaguely, there were flames growing bigger that we could see through the window. Was the house on fire? But -- how? “Oh no!” my Twin shouted, her voice full of pain. I could see her through the window behind the flames, her face a cold grin on. Asma had found us! She set fire to the house! “We have to leave here!” I said. But, the front door was locked. “The windows! Quickly!” We broke one window, pieces of glass spread everywhere. Through the flames, I rushed out and jumped on to the bare ground. I tried to help my Twin come out; she was pinned to a piece of glass and at a sudden fell down, her right foot with a deep cutting. She neither screamed nor shouted. I helped her to get up, but I could see that she was in pain, an awful pain. The sky was full of clouds, dark clouds – wanting to pour down but sober enough not to rain just like my Twin eyes, needed to cry but had the clouds’ soberness.
“It’s a pity that you think you can slip out of my hands,” said Asma walking over us. As soon as she came closer, I picked up a piece of glass and turned to her. She had a small axe in her hands. I gripped the glass more tightly ready to fight. “You will never win Asma! Never! Your end will be just like your mother’s!” I shouted. She became black in anger and threw the axe towards me. The axe flew from right beside me. But, there was a sound of a sudden cry behind. It was my Twin! The axe hit her! She was there, lying in blood… The clouds were darker and thicker now. There was an unpleasant weather. A feeling of floating seized inside me as if I was given drug and my soul wasn’t there; only a body – a body staring at what had happened. My face clouded over. The clouds were so cold. “Take me to the dream world, to the peaceful world, where my Twin is…” I wanted to say. What brought me out of the clouds to the real world, I didn’t know. But, I chose to live.
Asma was standing there as if she had been there for hours, wearing her ugly clothes. Numbness encircled all my body, my body was too dull to feel strongly. There was nothing except nothing. This is the end, I thought. The end of my story… I realized that this feeling made me happy somehow. I felt two hands grabbing my throat and throttling me. “Say hi to your sisters there! Maybe we can write to each other sometimes,” she said with a vicious laugh. “Stop it Asma!” a voice shouted from the gate side. “Don’t do this!” the voice went on. Then, I saw Ates with a gun in his hand pointing at Asma. “You’d better leave this Ates!” said Asma in an annoyed way like a spoiled child. “Don’t make me kill you Asma! I don’t want to do that. Release her!” I could never forget this face, I thought. He was, without a doubt, Ates who rescued me from Nida, that silhouette standing at the gate. Asma released her hands off me. “Why the hell are you here? Don’t you know I hate intruders!” she said going at him angrily. “Don’t come at me! Leave here! Don’t make me kill you!” Asma was snickering. “Can you? Can you really kill me?” I felt a misty consciousness covering me. Light, give us light, was the wordless cry of my soul. I was left numb and blind by my brain. I couldn’t see what was happening anymore. Have you ever been at a boundless marsh in an intense fog, when it seemed the deep mud was sucking you in itself? I was like that and the ground was my foggy marsh. Then, there was a gun sound. Sometime later, I felt approaching footsteps. I reached out my hand to the voices. Someone took it; I was uplifted and held close in the arms. He was Ates…
to be continued…
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