Evangelina's Writing Challenge - The Orphan Child.

Raj was a little boy. No one did not know his age properly. He was living with a rich family in the city of Colombo. That rich family had 2 kids, girl Emy was10 years and boy Dean was 7. Dean and Raj seem to be the same age.

When Emy and Dean were at school, Raj must help servant Mary and watcher Raman with chores and housekeeping. Raj was brought by Raman to the house from a village. Raj could remember, One day his mother and stepfather gave him to Raman. Raman gave a good amount of money to the stepfather. When Raj was 1 1/2 years, his father died in an accident. After a while, his mother married again. They were very poor family and lived in a shack, covered with wattle and daub structure. From her second marriage, she had two boys. Shortly after the stepfather’s behaviour changed towards Raj, he always looked at Raj as cruel. When he came home in the evening, he always got angry with Raj and sometimes used to beat him without any reason. His mother felt so helpless. Sometimes she fought with the stepfather.  Stepfather had been addicted to drinks. So, Raj’s mother couldn’t protect of Raj. Finally, she decided to give her loving son to a rich family who can care for him.

Before Raj had to leave home, his mother cried a lot and said that “I will come to see you soon and bring you with me again here, for the New Year festival. Till then you go with this uncle. They are very rich and good people. They promised me, that they will take good care of you and send you school. Go there my darling. There is the better place for you”  His mother’s words comforted little Raj and made so many hopes in his mind about his future.

 But, that family didn’t keep their word as they promised his mother. Since Raj came to that big house, he had to do many things, as did not match his age. He did not have the opportunity to play with Emmy and Dean. When they were playing badminton, tennis or something he always had to pick up only the out balls. He always felt loneliness and was remembering his mother. When the children fondle with their mother, Raj was always watching them with eyes full of tears. Oftentimes he was with hopeful eyes and looked at the road hoping that his mother would come and bring him back home. By the end of every day, he turned with a collapsed mind. But didn’t get angry with his mother. Instead of waiting for her, he made a decision.

 “I should go to see my mother soon and find out whether she has been in any trouble. When I arrive in town, I will ask people the way to go to my village”

 Many nights when he was sleeping, his mother came through dreams. His mother was a beautiful lady. Her smile was so nice. Every night she touched his head motherly and gave a lot of kisses to him. In his every dream, she was dressed in the same skirt and blouse, in blue and white colours. One day he saw a beautiful dream. He had gone home back and his two younger brothers and he were lightning crackers for the New Year festival. The faces of all had filled with more pleasure.

As a daily routine, Raj had to go to a grocery to buy daily needs and bring them home.After coming home Mary gave a few coins to him. Besides his a few clothes, it was only his whole treasure. Until now he had collected about 200 rupees bit by bit. Following day as usual, when he went to the city, he walked here and there in it. When meeting some people he asked,

 “Do you know, how to go to the Negombo?”.It’s my village. Have you ever seen my mother, she is very beautiful and dressed blue skirt and white blouse. She is living there with my brothers."

Many people looked at him with kind eyes. But some once took him as a joke. But he never gave up his effort. Also anytime if he went somewhere, he didn’t forget to bring his coin collection.

Just he saw a man selling crackers. He was delighted. He reached nearby seller quickly.

”Uncle, Last year my mother bought crackers for me. Did she take them from you?

Seller looked at him and said,”Ohh maybe. Do you want again? The seller's face drew a foxy smile.

Yes, but before that, I want to go to my village. My mother told me that she would come to carry me home. She lives in Negombo. But she hasn't come, yet. Uncle, do you know my mother? She always wears blue skirt and white blouse. She is beautiful!!"

 “Oh, why not? I know your mother”

I’m also Negombo. I can give your message to the mother. But before going there, I have to sell my all crackers. I want money. If you buy crackers from me, I can give your message quickly.”

“Uncle here my money"  The child kept his all treasure on the seller's hand.

The seller promised to send the message to his mother soon.

He started to go back home like a king who won a crown. After came home he worked harder than before with more pleasure.

On that day night, Raj fell to sleep with so many hopes. In midnight grace heard slimly tones of Raj. He was whispering,

“Mother please don’t light crackers without me”

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Comment by Marshaa on February 27, 2018 at 16:58

beautiful..dear Kal

Comment by Kal on October 21, 2017 at 12:36

Dear sweet Ada,

Thank you so much for your lovely feedback.Highly appreciating dear!

Comment by Adaline Bala on October 21, 2017 at 10:30

Wow! It's like watching a movie. Very well written!

Thanks for sharing sweetheart!

Comment by Evangelina on October 18, 2017 at 21:53

:)

Comment by Kal on October 18, 2017 at 12:15

My dear sweet teacher Onee,

Thank you so much again and again for your kindly help. You have shown your great teaching way.  Highly appreciating my dear. Also, I joined EC as a learner. Still, I’m very basic level. So, as learner always I am hoping, my corrections and guidance from EC teachers like you.


Mod
Comment by Onee-chan on October 17, 2017 at 7:39

Dear Kal

Just once, this time, I'll let you call me Teacher Onee. :D I hope you just call me your dear friend Onee. I prefer that. ^^ It's my pleasure to help learners as long as I can. ^^

Let's see what I can correct. ^^

*** I should go to see my mother soon and find out whether she has been in any trouble. When I arrive in town, I will ask people the way to go to my village

Soon does not have much urgency or timeliness associated with it. Quikly refers to the speed.
Examples:

  • I'll be there soon. (Maybe in five minutes, maybe three hours, maybe tomorrow)
  • I got dressed quickly. (I didn’t take a lot of time to get dressed)

*** Many nights when he was sleeping, his mother came through dreams. His mother was a beautiful lady. Her smile was so nice. Every night she touched his head motherly and gave a lot of kisses to him. In his every dream, she was dressed in the same skirt and blouse, in blue and white colors. 

When you fall asleep, you don't have any intention to sleep. I doubt if he fell asleep every night. Besides, you're dreaming when you're sleeping.

*** As a daily routine, Raj had to go to a grocery to buy daily needs and bring them home.

*** "Yes, but before that, I want to go to my village. My mother told me that she would come to carry me home. She lives in Negombo. But she hasn't come, yet. Uncle, do you know my mother? She always wears blue skirt and white blouse. She is beautiful!!"

*** The seller promised to send the message to his mother soon.

Kal, some sentences may have the same mistakes. Hope you can see them yourself. ^_^

Comment by Kal on October 14, 2017 at 13:12

Dear Estanis,

Thanks a lot reading and liking my blog.

Comment by Kal on October 14, 2017 at 13:11

Dear Mr.Mishaikh,

Thank you so much liking my blog.

Comment by Kal on October 14, 2017 at 13:10

Dear usra riasat,

Thank you so much reading me.Highly appreciating your comment.

Comment by Kal on October 13, 2017 at 13:24

My dear Eva and sweet teacher Onee,

I wholeheartedly thankful both of you. And really, admire both of your comments and corrections. No any confuse my dears.

Really, I don’t have many words to appreciate your help. Your time, your effort and everything you have done for me, really I owe you both my dears.

Not only for me, dear teacher Onee’s English lesson more helpful for every learner.My heartiest greetings dear!

And dear Eva, if not your challenge how can I learn things that much. It's not only been a challenge. It has been a most valuable lesson to my life. Highly appreciated for giving me such opportunity.

I got all points, which mentioned you two. Before deleting Eva’s comment, I had copied it to my PC. And I hope, you both will correct next half of my blog.(If you have time)

I rewrote my blog again with the corrections that have already been made both of you.

Also I’ invite you both and every other, again and again, please correct my mistakes (blogs or any comments).I will take that everything very humbly.

I’m so happy and be proud to have such friends, teachers like you.

Thank you so much!

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