yna's Posts (6)

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It's Hard to Let Go

I have meet my students 4 weeks ago for the short ESL class and now I have to let go. on my second week i cant help but wish for the time to pass by so fast since some of them are not really my cup of tea. We somehow argue with each other almost about everything. Asian culture says that older people know better and since most of them are older than I am I am torn between being a teacher and being a younger person.

But during the graduation party i cant help but to go home early, seems to me that I don't want to let them go. We've been together everyday for the last 4 weeks and now we are saying goodbye. It feels like it was just yesterday when we said Hello.

It's my first time to handle graduating students and I hope I will get use to saying goodbye soon enough.. :)

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Home again :) - after 10 years

It's been ten years since I went home (to where I was born). Two days ago I traveled 16 hours to visit my hometown. It was raining so hard and I did not like it cause I still have to walk for about an hour and a half to reach our village. 

It's been ten years but not much have changed. The same old neighbor that we have before, they are still there, people still grow their own crops and animals. I guess what changed is the house we used to have. No one stays there anymore so there are a lot of weeds around the house, it look more like a hunted house than a home. 

It was not long ago when there were people laughing non-stop. The room i use to have looks like a garage than a room. How I wish we can go back to those days, the fruit bearing trees are still there, I still want to climb them like i use to do but it would be strange if I do that. Bigger question is that can I still climb a tree.. haha...

Strange to know that almost all my childhood friends are working overseas or working in big cities just like the way I do. One of my friend stayed in this old sleepy valley though, I asked if she got no plan in moving from this sleepy place and well well well to my surprise she use to be a VP of a company for such a young age. (well nothing is new she is an achiever even when we were young, she graduate magna as well in the university, so her being a VP in such a young age as 24 is not a huge surprise). but two years ago she found out that life in the big city is not really for her, I feel so ashamed when she told me this words "this town help us achieve where we all are right now, we are not who we are if not because of this sleepy valley everyone cant wait to escape. We all want to leave it as it is, we despise it so much but we are not even doing a single step to change it." She was right. It's not too late for me though, she started a program called Green Lovers where they educate people of the village how to increase their crops in a natural way. She is also trying her best to bring a school home so kids wont have to walk 2 hours just to go to school. (I use to walk 2 hours when I was in grade school and high school, it's really a long walk specially in the afternoon where in 2 hours become 2-3 cause it's climbing "literary"  the mountain just to attend school) She is doing it for free and I really salute her for doing that. I asked her what I can do to help and she told me this exact same word "come home as often as you can, to show the people that they were not forgotten". Well that's what I intend to do.  

after all.. that sleepy valley is my home..

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Please Don't - I'm NOT Comfortable

I came here to meet people, to communicate with people I might not see physically but can learn together with. It's a learning site and I really really like it that way. I meet some who are just like me eager to learn and eager to teach as well. It's a perfect site but I just notice one thing that I am not really comfortable with. Maybe it's just my personality or something about me that I am not really sharing PRIVATE information . 

I got a lot of chat messages, it starts with the normal hi and hello and how are you, I'm fine thank you. It's a normal conversation starter. What I don't get is after exchange of greetings people would ask me if I am married, if I have kids, what do I do for a living, where are my sisters, what does my parents do for a living. what does my husband do for a living, where is he right now, I'm not really sure if it's something pretty normal to most but it's not to me. I prefer my first chat with people to be all about something in general, the weather, the time zone, the culture before really asking people about personal things. I don't mind giving information but to people I am comfortable giving it to. I'm really sorry, you may call me an ass for being so picky with people I should give information to but I'm not just comfortable with it. 

I hope people would understand and please don't call me names just because I ask you not to ask questions that are too private to answer to a stranger...

thank you

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Chasing that Elusive Dream

Born in a family where most of the members are teachers I and my two sisters are expected to be teachers as well. There is a problem though I hate school ever since I step on it the first time. On my entire school life I was constantly looking for a reason not to attend school.  School back then was just a way for me to get away with house hold chores. Up to these days I still can say that the reason I finish University is because back then it’s one of the major requirement to get a job. It took me years and years to finish it though since I was working and I was into money than good grades.

It was heaven when I finally graduate from the University and I literary cried, finally I don’t have deadlines to catch, no more exams and no more research papers. I got it all wrong though, from the time I graduate from college, job hunting is more difficult than before. The kind of job that I wanted needs you to have at least MD or PHD to be qualified. My world suddenly turns upside down. I want to work so much and going back to school is not an option. So I have to find an alternative job, well you guess it right “teaching” a job I vow myself won’t ever ever do no matter what happen. I don’t have anything against it, it’s just that I am sure to myself I won’t be a good teacher cause I hate school and I already escape from that prison and I don’t want to go back. But I’m broke and I need a job ASAP, so even if I don’t like it I still grab the chance to work in a more good paying job thinking that someday I’ll get out from this place. I learn to love the craft/art of teaching and unexpectedly I did good, I was even awarded the teacher of the year on my first year of teaching (awwwww) the award was based on evaluations and trust me I did not pay my students to give me stars hahaha hell they are even richer than me, all of them. Somehow I learn to love what I do but still there is a longing in my heart that someday I will be able to follow my dream…..

Note: My sister next to me is teaching too haha she also vow before that she will never be a teacher... but now she is teaching.. I guess destiny leads us to where we really belong..

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