On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."On yet another butcher's shop (Burlington, VT): "You can't beat our meat."At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."On a chiropractor's office (who also deals with classical sheet music) - "We deal with Beethoven, Brahms and back."At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."In Richmond, Indiana: "Salvation Army Thrift Shop. Jesus Saves."
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