I invite teachers to read and correct my essay

My name is Amina,I'm a new member here on this wonderful website.

Cuong was the first person who has corrected my writing .Thank you so much Cuong!!

Now,I invite others English teachers to do it.

I'm sincerly eager to get your replies.

ThanK you in advance.

                                   

My%20cousin.docx

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  • This reply was deleted.
    • I think it must be "You were like a bird". Sorry, Amina, I didn't notice that.

    • Thank you teacher,even me I didn't realize that mistake.
      have a good day!

    • Pleased to meet you my friend and thank you for your comments.

      You're right concening the use of"get used to",I shoud add"'ing" to the verb.

      So,the rule is:"get used to" + gerund

      But it's correct to say: "write back" especially when you reply to somone's letter.

      My best wishes.

  • Hello. I must kick it off by saying that the story is really emotive. Here is my comments. There weren't so many mistakes, just some misspelling words and word choice. I just suggested some alternative expressions. Hope that they will be of some help. Well-done!!!

    Amir’s my cousin. I met him for the first time when I was six. He lived in Paris and came to Algeria during the summer holidays at the age of eight or nine.

    I still remember, it was on Sunday afternoon when the whole family went to my grandparents’house => visit my grandparents and they were impatientely impatiently waiting for my aunt and her son Amir.

    I was playing in the garden when,  suddenly I saw my cousin through the kitchen window. He was standing beside his mother .He had brown eyes, straight  brown hair and seemed a tittle  little bit surprised. In fact, I was really surprised too because I had never seen him before…

    With time,  all my cousins  got used to Amir and enjoyed palaying playing with him.Contrary, On the contrary/ In contrast I felt him as a stranger  and I couldn’t  get used to this new cousin in my life. => …playing with him whereas I see him as a stranger… (It might sound better)

    During all the period of the holidays, I hated being with Amir.So , so I would neither play nor talk to him.

    So kind my cousin was that he tried many times to be close to me and he was often complaining and wondering why I refused playing to play or at least talking to talk with him?

    It’s strange!?But I myself until now don’t know why I was so rude?

    At the end of holidays, Amir and my aunt came back to Paris and three months later,I received a short  kind letter from him. It was such a surprise for me!!         

    After that, he got used to write writing me for a long time and my mother told me often to write back often too , but I didn’t again…

    Little by little, I started to like and know him through his funny writings which made me so happy, and when suddenly I felt myself read to do it???, I asked my mother to help me.

    Amir used to come on vacation each summer holidays and we really got along to each other since his second coming to Algeria.

    Year after year, our friendship was getting better and better and we were very closest close. We both would’ve liked being together the whole year, but it was impossible…

    During our last summer holidays, I was just  ten, it was the most beautiful vacation in my childhood  that I’ve never had.At my grand parents’house, we always have been together. In fact, we adored our staying there because we used to play and have a lot of fun.

    We also enjoyed our grandmother’s meals, cakes and each night we were eager to listen to her lovely stories before sleeping.

    Amir was a special cousin for me, he was a cheerful boy, he always smiled and liked jokking. Joking.

    Besides, we had several common interests. However, we both were crazy about animals and reading magical French stories which my mother used to buy for us.

    Anyway, when Amir left me after the last summer vacation, I was very sad and got quickly bored.

    A few months later, Amir had a dangerous serious car crash and dead passed away at the age of thirteen. My parents couldn’t tell me that only tow weeks after his death.

    When I was told the truth, I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe it at all…

    I was extremely shocked, I got immediately really sick and gave up my school for almost a month…

    In fact, this horrible event was for me as the end of the world and my childhood has completely changed.

    I’ ve got my last Amir’s letter the third week after his death. I’ve tried many times to read it , but I couldn’t. So, I’ve kept it away for along time until I really might to do it.

    Amir, you were as bird in my sky, you were a short kid’s dream and you were such a cousin!

    It’s true that with time the broken heart will certainly heal itself, but do believe me Amir, I could and will never forget you.

    • Many thanks,you're such a nice teacher!   

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