"Ladies first" is a phrase encouraging perceived polite gentlemanliness, allowing the ladies to go before the men. It is a chivalrous custom. What "ladies first" behaviors do you think are necessary?

1. When you get in and out of a car, your boyfriend should open the door for you.

2. When you carry any baggage, your boyfriend should carry them.

3. When you are walking on the street with your boyfriend, he should walk along the roadway side of the sidewalk.

4. When you go to a restaurant with your boyfriend, he should pull out your chair for you.

Are there any other "ladies first" behaviors that you think are necessary? Or are those behaviors are not necessary at all? If you are male, do you act on "ladies first" behaviors that I mentioned?

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  • Hello Tam,  interesting discussion, thank you! "Ladies first " was an usual thing for my parents generation, but these days we don't see it often; if  a man opens the door to get into the car is pleasant, to wait for him to go around the car for getting out  feels awkward,  a waste of time, but if done for an elder  or a child, then of course is a wonderful thing to do.  A man who helps a woman or an elder carrying her luggage is cool, but if we see a man carrying a woman's little purse isn't it too funny? Number 3 is a "should" and 4, is not necessary but somehow pleasant. 

  • Nice discussion. May I add one other aspect? “Women and children first“ as when a ship is sinking (eg Titanic). This age-old practice may reflect the importance of women to the human race. If all males died tomorrow, the human race would continue. If all females died tomorrow, it would not. (Let’s forget Frankenstein fantasies about cloning and artificial progeneration.)

    So the question is, if the ship is sinking - do you believe in “Every man for himself” or “Ladies first”?

    • Hello, Mr.Josef Essberger. Thank you for your comment. It's an interesting aspect. However, if all males died tomorrow, the human race would not continue. One man is needed at least.: )

      Of course, if the ship is sinking, I think women and children are first, but as for elderly people, I am not sure of that. What do you think about elderly people?

      • > One man is needed at least.

        Not a single man would be needed. There are enough women already pregnant to continue the human race. Men are expendable.

        • Lol...good answer, Mr. Josef....hahahah...And well...this is just like that. Do not forget about scientific ways to clon the cells... and many others as scientists are used to saying))


  • Dear Tam, from my point of view "Ladies first"  is a older behaviour, I dont like it. thanks, I think is a interesting topic.

    • Hello, Laura.Thank you for your comment.

  • Hi, Tam, in my opinion these are two different things that you're bringing up in this post. 

    1. 'Ladies first' is a general behavior towards women 
    That is quite common here in Germany. Not all men behaving like that, but many. I'm used to that men open doors for me, often they offer to let me go first (like at the checkstand in a supermarket, public transportation, elevator, waiting line), helping put on a coat, etc. 

    2. How a man treats his girlfriend/wife
    What you've mentioned are classics. I don't like all of them. One thing I dislike the most is helping into the coat/jacket... that's a no no for me. ;-) Paying always the bill is also not okay with me. Since I don't like to perform silly fights in front of a waiter, I'm sneaking away from the table after eating dinner, saying that I'm hitting the ladies' room, and then I pay secretly the bill. ;-D Pulling out the chair is also a no no. XD Although, I like to take his jacket when it suddenly starts to rain, and I'm wearing a summer dress. Carrying my stuff...? Well, if it's heavy... or a lot... then he can help me of course, otherwise not. Opening the car when I'm getting in is okay, but not when getting out. 

    I don't think any of this is necessary, but when it's done with love it's a nice gesture. ;)) 

    • Hello, NotAClue. Thank you for sharing your opinion.

  • Arigato Tam! They are always first. in all aspects of life, they are the first. Thanks for sharing. 

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