Giving a birth is without doubt one of the hardest and the most beautiful moments of our life.. The thing is that a baby has two parents not just mom - who goes through pregnancy and had to suffer while giving a birth... there is also DAD responsible for "creating" new life...Do you think dad should be in delivery room to support his wife, partner meanwhile she is going through the hell?I personally find it very important and apart from these who are scared of blood or seeing their wife in pain.. I would recommand this experience to every man and I am thankful to our hospitals which allow it and let both parents enjoy this very emotional and nice moment together...P.S. Let me add that it is decent thing not like some of you would imagine dad at the place of doctor...dad place is ofc somewhere else :D
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well! Frstly I wanted my husband to be with me and we were planning that together and so on . In this city there is just one hospital that allows the dad to be pesent at the ime of giving birth. However I didn't manage to get into that hosp as it was under reconstruction.
when the time came and i was at the hosp giving birth.... well I had such moments when I thanked God my husband wasnt there. I think he would collapse there or be panicing even mre than I did. So far I don't really have a ny strict view on this I think it depends on the man!
Though I haven't encountered this, I would like to suggest that the husband should be there too to hold her hand and to make her feel that everything is going to be okay. The bond is not confined to pleasurable moments but to some painful instances as well. I could remember when my mother delivered our youngest sibling, it was a trauma for me that up to now I don't want to go back to any emergency room and any delivery ward. The smell and the ambiance are haunted for me, don't know why.
I would to like include that in my country, the mother usually scolded, yelled at, and acted like a real badass to their husband when they are in the process of delivery. I read that the pain they feel for that magnificent moment exceeded to what normal person could bear, normally 45 del (unit) of pain is the maximum scale, but when giving birth it exceeds up to 57 del (unit) of pain, similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the time.
So, I guess being "present" doesn't hurt that much, right? :D
While I disagree that men will "suffer from an 'unexplainable' emotional distance" if they are no present at their child's birth, I do believe that men can grow emotionally by being at the birth.
I find myself unable to comment on this because of some cultural bondage. (But now it is going on in our societies).
BUT! I can and should comment that dad must have to be present in the hospital, and he should be the first one (closest) to witness the baby along with his wife. This is must, psychologically and emotionally. It has a very positive and long lasting impact on the relationship: baby+mom+dad.
I have a personal experience of doing vice verse. Please remember that if you do not be there with your wife and baby, in the first ever meeting, you will suffer from an 'unexplainable' emotional distance.
When my daughter was born I was there with my wife and the baby girl. You know what is the impact, I feel my daughter is closer to me.
I always in favor of the presence of daddy in the DR. I have concluded two pros: 1st, the father can witness everything in order to gain the experience. 2nd, it gives emotional support when his wife is in one of the good painful moments. =)
Hi luci, Dads can also enter delivery room here but my husband couldn't achieve it since he was about to faint in front of the room because i couldn't wake up easily after anesthesia.As you see,although the men seem strong ,we are the ones who let them feel so :).
Dear Luci,.
My dad was never there when my mom giving birth. He has been working in another city. In the past it took 10-12hours to get home from there (now it's about 6hours by car). No plane, even train is very rare. So, he never made it. When he got call that said my mom was in hospital, he immediately left the work but always late. Mom said it doesn't matter, though dad always took over all housework while she was not be able to do it because of the pain. I know delivering baby is hurtful but I wish I am as strong as my mother. She never acts as a drama queen, lol xD and my dad, I remember said this few times here, I have the most annoying father in the world. No day ever passing without quarrels if we are together. All my siblings do agree with me, but we also agree in another thing, that we love our parents for they are. So, I have ever asked this to my dad, if he regrets for not attending mom's fight and our arrival? He said "why would I? I will regret it if I cannot feed you well" this is his way to criticize people who abandon their children. Sometimes I think Attending the birth is same with attending the funeral, lol, just kidding!. I think that's all. In my opinion it's rather depend on the abnormality of the couple. This world is not always filled by sweet things, how we pay attention to the important things is what really matters. Thank you^^
thank you for your comment and yeah here it is the same, man is at the hospital all the time with woman.. I am surprised your daughter in law wanted you to be there too!! Maybe she wanted somebody experienced but to be honest, I would react the same like you did - it is just their personal issue ...Thanx again for participating in my discussion ;-)
Rose said:
Here in Germany is it common for men to support their women during the process of birth and to be with her in the preparing room and also in the delivery room. He may stay with her from the moment when she comes to the hospital until after the birth. It's always the common decison of the couple, nobody else will prevent them to do it. Even other relatives may be present. I still remember the birth of my first grandchild. My daughter-in law asked me if I would like to be with her and my son in delivery room, too. It was huge trust evidence. I was very grateful but I told her it should be the best and most emotional moment ... only for her and my son.
I find, it's good for men to see what it means for a woman to give life to a child. Both are the parents. Even if men are often very pale around their noses... it isn't to compare what women endure. But every pain is forgotten when they hold their baby in their arms.
Should a dad be in delivery room?
Giving a birth is without doubt one of the hardest and the most beautiful moments of our life.. The thing is that a baby has two parents not just mom…
thanx for adding your comment here and I can't agree more with you because the thing is that BOTH created their baby, so both should be there.. I remember in the past my mom was alone giving birth and she told me, she felt just frightened, scared and lonely - and I think such emotions won't help woman to get over this all. I also think it is good for man to experience it and see, what it is about :D
Kiwi Kev said:
Hello Luci,
A very interesting topic here!
I accept that cultural differences may exclude fathers from being at his child's birth. Giving birth is a very intimate event and is messy with lots of blood and raw emotion expressed by the mother. I sense that in some cultures, men have difficulty dealing with this.
On the other hand, I don't understand why a husband should not be with his wife when she is giving birth to a baby that both of them have created.
Surely, if they both want to be together at this time so a husband can support a wife during the birth, who's to say this is unacceptable and wrong. After all, marriage is a union which should share all aspects of living...
Why should hospitals not allow a husband to be with his wife when she is giving birth? Do these bureaucrats that run hospitals think they are Gods? They are simply servants of the women who come to give birth.
If a wife wants her husband to hold her hand as she gives birth to their child, that's it - end of story - who has the right to say no?
Should a dad be in delivery room?
Giving a birth is without doubt one of the hardest and the most beautiful moments of our life.. The thing is that a baby has two parents not just mom…
Here in Germany is it common for men to support their women during the process of birth and to be with her in the preparing room and also in the delivery room. He may stay with her from the moment when she comes to the hospital until after the birth. It's always the common decison of the couple, nobody else will prevent them to do it. Even other relatives may be present. I still remember the birth of my first grandchild. My daughter-in law asked me if I would like to be with her and my son in delivery room, too. It was huge trust evidence. I was very grateful but I told her it should be the best and most emotional moment ... only for her and my son.
I find, it's good for men to see what it means for a woman to give life to a child. Both are the parents. Even if men are often very pale around their noses... it isn't to compare what women endure. But every pain is forgotten when they hold their baby in their arms.
Replies
well! Frstly I wanted my husband to be with me and we were planning that together and so on . In this city there is just one hospital that allows the dad to be pesent at the ime of giving birth. However I didn't manage to get into that hosp as it was under reconstruction.
when the time came and i was at the hosp giving birth.... well I had such moments when I thanked God my husband wasnt there. I think he would collapse there or be panicing even mre than I did. So far I don't really have a ny strict view on this I think it depends on the man!
Though I haven't encountered this, I would like to suggest that the husband should be there too to hold her hand and to make her feel that everything is going to be okay. The bond is not confined to pleasurable moments but to some painful instances as well. I could remember when my mother delivered our youngest sibling, it was a trauma for me that up to now I don't want to go back to any emergency room and any delivery ward. The smell and the ambiance are haunted for me, don't know why.
I would to like include that in my country, the mother usually scolded, yelled at, and acted like a real badass to their husband when they are in the process of delivery. I read that the pain they feel for that magnificent moment exceeded to what normal person could bear, normally 45 del (unit) of pain is the maximum scale, but when giving birth it exceeds up to 57 del (unit) of pain, similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the time.
So, I guess being "present" doesn't hurt that much, right? :D
Hello Mishaikn,
While I disagree that men will "suffer from an 'unexplainable' emotional distance" if they are no present at their child's birth, I do believe that men can grow emotionally by being at the birth.
Should a dad be in the delivery room?
I find myself unable to comment on this because of some cultural bondage. (But now it is going on in our societies).
BUT! I can and should comment that dad must have to be present in the hospital, and he should be the first one (closest) to witness the baby along with his wife. This is must, psychologically and emotionally. It has a very positive and long lasting impact on the relationship: baby+mom+dad.
I have a personal experience of doing vice verse. Please remember that if you do not be there with your wife and baby, in the first ever meeting, you will suffer from an 'unexplainable' emotional distance.
When my daughter was born I was there with my wife and the baby girl. You know what is the impact, I feel my daughter is closer to me.
I always in favor of the presence of daddy in the DR. I have concluded two pros: 1st, the father can witness everything in order to gain the experience. 2nd, it gives emotional support when his wife is in one of the good painful moments. =)
Hi luci,
Dads can also enter delivery room here but my husband couldn't achieve it since he was about to faint in front of the room because i couldn't wake up easily after anesthesia.As you see,although the men seem strong ,we are the ones who let them feel so :).
My dad was never there when my mom giving birth. He has been working in another city. In the past it took 10-12hours to get home from there (now it's about 6hours by car). No plane, even train is very rare. So, he never made it. When he got call that said my mom was in hospital, he immediately left the work but always late. Mom said it doesn't matter, though dad always took over all housework while she was not be able to do it because of the pain. I know delivering baby is hurtful but I wish I am as strong as my mother. She never acts as a drama queen, lol xD and my dad, I remember said this few times here, I have the most annoying father in the world. No day ever passing without quarrels if we are together. All my siblings do agree with me, but we also agree in another thing, that we love our parents for they are. So, I have ever asked this to my dad, if he regrets for not attending mom's fight and our arrival? He said "why would I? I will regret it if I cannot feed you well" this is his way to criticize people who abandon their children. Sometimes I think Attending the birth is same with attending the funeral, lol, just kidding!. I think that's all. In my opinion it's rather depend on the abnormality of the couple. This world is not always filled by sweet things, how we pay attention to the important things is what really matters. Thank you^^
Rose,
thank you for your comment and yeah here it is the same, man is at the hospital all the time with woman.. I am surprised your daughter in law wanted you to be there too!! Maybe she wanted somebody experienced but to be honest, I would react the same like you did - it is just their personal issue ...Thanx again for participating in my discussion ;-)
Rose said:
Hi Jeffrey (Kiwi) :-)
thanx for adding your comment here and I can't agree more with you because the thing is that BOTH created their baby, so both should be there.. I remember in the past my mom was alone giving birth and she told me, she felt just frightened, scared and lonely - and I think such emotions won't help woman to get over this all. I also think it is good for man to experience it and see, what it is about :D
Kiwi Kev said:
Here in Germany is it common for men to support their women during the process of birth and to be with her in the preparing room and also in the delivery room. He may stay with her from the moment when she comes to the hospital until after the birth.
It's always the common decison of the couple, nobody else will prevent them to do it.
Even other relatives may be present. I still remember the birth of my first grandchild.
My daughter-in law asked me if I would like to be with her and my son in delivery room, too. It was huge trust evidence. I was very grateful but I told her it should be the best and most emotional moment ... only for her and my son.
I find, it's good for men to see what it means for a woman to give life to a child.
Both are the parents. Even if men are often very pale around their noses... it isn't to compare what women endure. But every pain is forgotten when they hold their baby in their arms.
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