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ENGLİSH JOKES

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.""But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly."Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped to set the table when company was due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the gu
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accident....

in recent time, i have been busy doing my thesis. i have to finish my thesis on twentieth of may. now i finished about 30 percent. there are many matters left. i'll try my best in the remainder of time.so i haven't had much time to learn english. i want to accomplish writing skills. because i believe that when i write well i'll speak english fluently. when i use english perfect i can earn more money, at this time i'll have money to get married.
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ALPHABET OF LIFE

AN ALPHABET OF LIFEHere are some bits of wisdom from A to Z, on how to live...A ct promptly,B e courteous,C ut out worry,D eal squarely,E at what is wholesome,F orgive and forget,G et right with God,H ope always,I mitate the best,J udge generously,K nock nobody,L ove somebody,M ake friends,N ever despair,O we nobody,P lay occasionally,Q uote the Bible,R ead good books,S ave something,T ouch no alcohol,U se discretion,V ote regularly,W atch your stepX ray yourself,Y ield to superiors,Z ealously l
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to all my friend please write thier own answers based in thier own experience.1.how do you make your self inspired and motivated?2.how do you deal with your problems?3.how do you deal with people that are not nice to you?4.what are the thing that you do if your loaded of so many hung ups in life?hope you can spare your time in answering these simple question of mine thanks a lot and god bless have a great day...
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On the thirteenth day of Persian New Year which is the last phase of the New Year celebration, people leave home and go outside. They took their Sabzeh, which is lentil or wheat plant grown in a pot, to throw into the river symbolizing the cycle of life. But, why do they do on the thirteenth day of the New Year? Why does the Persian New Year last for thirteen days?In most parts of the world and especially in India, the number thirteen is disastrous. In apartments’ floors or airplane’s seats, num
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grandma

*NOTE TO ALL WRITERS-We are now WRITING BACK from Grandma! Please read the whole letter in the comment section before you add to Grandma's response to her granddaughter, Julie. Don't forget to use transitional phrases. Have fun!----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------This month I am going to challenge you to use "transitional words and phrases". These are words (or groups of words) that help your writing flow. (We also use them in speaking.) Just l
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My most memorable trip was a professional visit to Minnesota, USA to meet my colleagues and friends.Twice I flew across twelve time zones to hear Minnesotans speak with pride and love for their state. Some of my Americans friends, whom I met on various international American-Russian projects, couldn’t see why I was drawn to the northern state of Minnesota. It is very similar to my native Altay region on the South-west of Siberia. The contrast between these regions is hardly detectable and there
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Jasmine and Canna indica Linn.

The Jasmine,I like /love the jasmine because it is pretty flower and very shallot and important show arrive at the love that us has to give mother ,Already you , when you see you will love and like it be like too?The jasmine is mother's day National flower of Thailand.

The Canna indica Linn,The Canna indica Linn. is a flower which is significant also but be a flower daily of Thailand father , or not is already at knife chest wood country where show to arrive at the love that has to build a father
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as usual i get up at 7o' clock then waiting bus .after I got on the bus i sudently realised someone's fervent sight ,yeah to my surprise the driver is very handsome .it is the first time meet handsome driver.feel little happy . everytime before he come to see me it seems I would put my heart to wait .after he leaves I wiil cry.I hope we can love each forever but it is impossible.he can not give me the life what i really want.in fact he is a selfish man .he don't know how to care others .just car
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Promote Arts on Drawing Day

On June 6th, all artists around the world deliver their paintings and videos to this website:http://www.drawingday.orgIt is supposed to deliver one million paintings from artists around the globe so please join this great event in order to promote arts. You can send your paintings, oil paitings, water colors and etc. The number of painting is countless. You can send how many works you would like. There is no limit but promoting arts.
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I hope it's not a joke

Oh my God! What a great and interesting thing to happen today.I hope it's not a joke because today is the 1 of April that is the Fool's day!I got a message from Nafis congratulating me and after I've realized that the all winners have got their first message from her.Nafis, you are very attentive and kind person!To be honest I've never have hope for that.This is a surprise for me.I just wanted to say thank you to the "My English Club" team for their appreciation.I will do my best in future too.
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!!!beyond forgeting!!!i believed that each one of us gone through diffrent kind of relationship and its very hard to let go of a person that you really love the most...in your opinion what do you do to overcome such loneliness of seperation?how do you go back to your normal life?when you feel incomplete and dont wanna go on with your life?hope you can answer this trough your own experience!!!
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choose

last night have a bad dream what effect my emotion today. sometime I realised ichanged so much for somebody.I am a happy one in the life .I have dream i know what to do and how to improve myself.I have mind for everything.but now it seems changed so much .I used to these wateriness life. I have no choose but come back stay with my family .on one knows i like live far away from my partens.maybe it's selffish.but i have my own life
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I've Learned ..........

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it may be better tomorrow.I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles a rainy day and lost luggage.I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.I've learned that you
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IRISH COFFEE

I am Irish born,but I have lived 29 years in Italy.Italian coffee has never been to my liking,and come to think of it coffee in general has never been my cup of tea.Now.offer me an Irish coffee and a smile and a warm welcoming memory comes rolling home.Try this,and let me know if an Irish coffee is your cup of tea, too.Ingredients:1 measure of whiskey per person1 small cup of coffee freshly madeboiling water1 teaspoon of brown sugarfresh cream-chilled and lightly whippedMethod1.Heat glasses with
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“The use of traveling is to regulate imagination by reality, and instead of thinking how things may be, to see them as they are.” - Samuel JohnsonHeathrow Airport in London is tremendously vast. It is consisted of four separate terminals. Each of which has various duty-free shops, restaurants, airline representatives and so on.I just had thirty minutes to find Air Canada Gate because the Iranian airplane was delayed for an hour. As soon as I got off the plane, I asked a police officer:”Where can
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I don't know how to do it !

These days ,I am freeI know i should study more knowledge in order to my future .but I alway can't get down to my study .my idea and fact is opposite.so that i have a bad moodI don't know how to do itI don't know what to do to improve my english .Who can tell me ?who can help me ?my god !
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