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The Perfect ”Love” Recipe

This is the story I wrote for Danny’s writing challengelast month. I was really flattered when I saw many of you liked it. So I’d like to post it in my blog.  

Thank you, Mishaikh, Danny, Tanya, Luci, Shoba and Risty for your votes.

The story was corrected by Professor Danny Clark. Enjoy it and hope you like it.

PS: I’m sorry to tell you that I have been under the weather lately. Hope you don’t mind if I reply later and forgive me if I am absent from your activities. I will be back. Love, Jade.

“How long haven’t I stepped out of the village?” I asked myself. “1102 days.” But today is the beginning of a new calendar. I’m on the long way and my bus is leaving. While I am staring at the rising sun, an overweight policeman recognizes me. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mrs. Huber. You are a model wife in our village. Thank you for teaching my wife your marvelous recipes.” I am smiling. It is a smile from the bottom of my heart, but only my husband could understand its true meaning.

Seven days ago, when I was washing piles of dishes after a wonderful dinner, my 360 pound husband was lying on the couch watching TV. What a typical picture of a happy couple! All of a sudden, I heard that something fell down on the floor. My radar told me the great moment I had been waiting for three years was about to come. Poor Huber was clasping one hand to his heart and was moaning like a tone deaf goat, “Help…”  I squinted at him out of the corner of my eye and picked up the remote control to turn up TV. “No one will hear you, my darling.”

I held back my excitement and continued to say: “Three years ago, I was kidnapped and sold to you like an animal. When I realized there was no chance to escape, I started planning how to kill you without being punished. One day I was enlightened by a fat little boy who was eating big Macs, fries and donates. Since then, I’ve been cooking delicious overdone food with much salt, fat and sugar. Making sure that the calories you took in were three times over the amount your body needed was my daily work. You know what? Birds of a feather flock together. Almost all your friends loved my lethal weapon so much that my murder plan was considered as a proof of true love. You were the most thankful fan of my sudden death recipe. Now, rest in peace after the heart attack.”

I watched as he gasped his last breath with a twisted face. After I had finished my vegetable salad, I decided  the last act of the show was to make believe I was a broken hearted widow. 

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Comments

  • How evil you are, Jade :P
    The title match the story perfectly.. like it.
  • Congratulations on winning the contest, dear Jade! It was a pleasure to read your story and know that women can do anything if they set their mind to it. Haha. 

  • My dear Barbie Jade, I’ve read your story for the first time, when Sir Dan posted it as part of the stories to be criticize, undeniably, I’ve fallen for it…my strange side got so excited to finish this up to the last word, and to be honest, I’m so willing to re-read this story again and again because I’ve got so smitten how clever the character is, as well as how ingenious the writer is.

    There is no doubt this piece deserves to topped all stories, still with all fairness, all stories are quite work of art for me.

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