I often wondered why all the great love stories did not reach to their endings with a happy note. It took me some time and a hell lot of experience to understand that. But now I feel I am close to unravelling the puzzle. The probable answer that strikes me right now is that "It's not about getting them at the end. But its about striving hard in the process where you try to get your counterpart. And in that process you are even ready to lose your life". Yes this is what happened in Laila-Majnu and Heer-Ranjna legendary stories.
Yes, even my story does not end on a happy note. It's was nowhere near the virtues of "selfless love". It has a lot of elements of ego, jingoism and fear. But I still feel it special. The most important part is it makes me happy when ever I think about it "that face".
A face that gets your attention at the first sight. A voice that you want to hear again and again. A call that you eagerly wait for. A person with whom you can share deepest secrets and all your fantasies. That moments that I wont forget and I want to life again by visiting the past. Even though it's not possible. But the thrill lies in trying impossible things!
She got a perfect face. Those identical eyes looking straight into your eyes (In pics only). A cute nose which is small like rabbit. Her one cheek got a dimple. Sufficient enough to distract me even when I am in my most focused states. Her long hairs that reaches to her waist. Her forehead that never frowns. Her fair color of which she is proud of. Her voice with high pitch and when she drags the words in last. It sounds so melodious that no can refuse to her call. Her beauty is her weapon. A weapon that excites you when ever hits you.
In talks she is romantic. She is kiddish but kids are cute. Just like kids she gets angry on small issues. But the fun lies is convincing her back. To get around her to apologize and to win her again. A person who is worth winning again and again. A person who makes you feel complete and happy. A person for whom you can push your limits. One can even dare to do the things beyond his reach. A person that you never want to lose.
Sometimes she is determined and other times she is confused. Only she knows what is cooking in her mind. Frequent vacillation makes her personality dynamic (lol I know it's weird). People like me keep puzzling what will be her next move. And in that curiosity there is thrill, there is patience and there is a hope! A hope that makes me write this blog.
When she acts (or even reacts), I can explain it. And I find that action apt and right. Absolutely correct. But the irony is that I cant guess it. May be my definition of right and wrong has nothing to do with morality but it is based on the will to justify all her actions. And in all tests she stands vindicated, innocent and cheerful.
One things that hurts me and hurts her even more, is that my other friends do not hold the view I hold. My friends have a lot of views, some say she is so-so other say she is shrewd. Some put it diplomatically, "there is nothing in this face, but the way you look at it, makes it so special". Some erstwhile friends show deep inbuilt racism of their mind by comparing that cute little face with North Eastern people.
Everyone has his/her own pride and prejudices. Some are jealous others are losers. Some don't try to understand others simply can't even understand even if they try. The world is complex so are the opinions.
If they judge what I got at last, then I am at losing end. But to get some one at last never defines the journey That is what I explained in my first paragraph as well. What makes us happy at the end of the day is the memory that we hold. The thing that only I hold. Neither do they understand nor can they feel it. And the feeling that reside inside me is powerful enough to ignore such criticisms.
Criticism is part of life. It often leads to growth. I just want it to continue. And I pray that such people keep coming in my life. I keep observing the small nuances and keep praising them. And the people keep doing what they are good at!
Comments
Oi there,
Traveler, did it ever dawn on you that she may not have shared all those emotions with you just for a very simple reason, you were too busy with yourself, your own emotions expectations, and did not give her a chace?