Tell a (short) joke day

We all know that laughter is the best medicine. Laughter relieves stress, elevates mood, and makes us more resilient.

This blog is mean to make you laugh, because I care about your health!.... I'm so into philanthropy... (wait... i barely can say this without laughing...)
Sorry, I'll start again: Let's say I'm just cool and wanna bring some silly jokes :P   So, here it is! A blog full of super bad-awesome jokes to celebrate that today, is another stupid day that someone decided to name it the: 'Tell a Joke Day' (USA).

Let's celebrate!

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- What kind of dinosaur writes romance novels?
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- A Brontësaurus.

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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way.

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My doctor told me today that I was too sweet.
Well, her exact words were, “severely diabetic”, but I knew what she meant.

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- What did the Green Grape say to the Purple Grape...?
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- "BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery.

tenor.gif?profile=RESIZE_710x

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Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally

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- How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

- Change?

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I had a dream last night that Sandhaven Beach was made of Fanta.

And what a Fanta Sea that was.

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A sociopath, a pervert and a moron walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What would you like, Mr. Trump?

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- What did the snail say on top of the turtle?
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- Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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- How does a computer get drunk?
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- It takes screenshots!

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- Which of King Arthur's men made his round table?
.
- Sir Cumference

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Batman and Robin walk into a bar.

Because they can’t fly.

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A woman in labor begins shouting: "Wouldn't, shouldn't, didn't, can't!"
Her husband, worried, asks the doctor what's wrong.
The doctor replies, "Don't worry, they're just contractions."

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 tenor.gif?profile=RESIZE_710x

#BadJokes #SorryNotSorry

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Comments

  • I wouldn't be caught dead commiting such heinous crime.

    P.S. Hey, for the sequel how about Dad Jokes only? They're the lamest.

  • funny commercial ad.mp4

     

     

    https://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/3434757597?profile=original
  • Theacher asks the students to write a sentence on "by chance"  one of them wrote 

    When my father marriage took place by chance at the same day my mother got married 

     

     

  • Thank guys, all your jokes suck big time... good job!

    Oh, btw, Estanis, thanks for sharing with me that joke about comparing a woman's pregnancy with a vending machine... you really know me ¬¬

     

    • C'mon Mary...!! I was just testing your self control, btw good news... you're greatly progressing! :D

    • Et tu, Estanis? 

  • What is the difference between tennis and bungee jumping?
    -
    In tennis you have two surcharges.
    __________________________________________________________________

    In a job interview:

    What would your friends say about your biggest weakness?
    -
    I have no.
    -
    Oh come you; everyone has some.
    -
    I have no friends.
    _________________________________________________________________

    What does the cannibal order in the restaurant?

    The waiter.
    _________________________________________________________________

  • atm-pin-pedant.png

    More questionable jokes at: 
    https://www.englishclub.com/esl-jokes

    ESL Jokes | EnglishClub
    Laugh at these English language jokes and learn English at the same time. Perfect jokes for ESL students. For learners and teachers of English as a f…
  • Senior coastguard: [dialogue in German]

    Radio: MayDay! MayDay! Hello. Can you hear us? Can you hear us? Can you...[static]...Over! We are sinking. We are sinking!

    Junior coastguard: Hello. This is the German Coastguard.

    Radio: We are sinking. We're sinking!

    Coastguard: What are you...thinking about?

    Laugh - EnglishClub ESL Jokes

    • (>ლ)

       

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