We all know that laughter is the best medicine. Laughter relieves stress, elevates mood, and makes us more resilient.
This blog is mean to make you laugh, because I care about your health!.... I'm so into philanthropy... (wait... i barely can say this without laughing...)
Sorry, I'll start again: Let's say I'm just cool and wanna bring some silly jokes :P So, here it is! A blog full of super bad-awesome jokes to celebrate that today, is another stupid day that someone decided to name it the: 'Tell a Joke Day' (USA).
Let's celebrate!
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- What kind of dinosaur writes romance novels?
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- A Brontësaurus.
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
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My doctor told me today that I was too sweet.
Well, her exact words were, “severely diabetic”, but I knew what she meant.
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- What did the Green Grape say to the Purple Grape...?
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- "BREATHE YOU IDIOT, BREATHE!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery.
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Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
They always take things literally
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- How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
- Change?
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I had a dream last night that Sandhaven Beach was made of Fanta.
And what a Fanta Sea that was.
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A sociopath, a pervert and a moron walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What would you like, Mr. Trump?
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- What did the snail say on top of the turtle?
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- Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
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- How does a computer get drunk?
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- It takes screenshots!
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- Which of King Arthur's men made his round table?
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- Sir Cumference
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Batman and Robin walk into a bar.
Because they can’t fly.
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A woman in labor begins shouting: "Wouldn't, shouldn't, didn't, can't!"
Her husband, worried, asks the doctor what's wrong.
The doctor replies, "Don't worry, they're just contractions."
#BadJokes #SorryNotSorry
Comments
I wouldn't be caught dead commiting such heinous crime.
P.S. Hey, for the sequel how about Dad Jokes only? They're the lamest.
funny commercial ad.mp4
Theacher asks the students to write a sentence on "by chance" one of them wrote
When my father marriage took place by chance at the same day my mother got married
Thank guys, all your jokes suck big time... good job!
Oh, btw, Estanis, thanks for sharing with me that joke about comparing a woman's pregnancy with a vending machine... you really know me ¬¬
C'mon Mary...!! I was just testing your self control, btw good news... you're greatly progressing! :D
Et tu, Estanis?
What is the difference between tennis and bungee jumping?
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In tennis you have two surcharges.
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In a job interview:
What would your friends say about your biggest weakness?
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I have no.
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Oh come you; everyone has some.
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I have no friends.
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What does the cannibal order in the restaurant?
The waiter.
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More questionable jokes at:
https://www.englishclub.com/esl-jokes
Senior coastguard: [dialogue in German]
Radio: MayDay! MayDay! Hello. Can you hear us? Can you hear us? Can you...[static]...Over! We are sinking. We are sinking!
Junior coastguard: Hello. This is the German Coastguard.
Radio: We are sinking. We're sinking!
Coastguard: What are you...thinking about?
(>ლ)