Story by Numbers: # 11

Here is my story for this month's Writing Challenge. Thank you to Marisa and for introducing us to the Great Storymaking Tool. special Thanks to Tara for her suggestion.

This story uses words and phrases found with #11. 

Character: a time traveler

Place: an airport

Situation: getting angry with your best friend

Object: a map with a hole

Frontier

 Austin, neatly dressed , took  paces slowly.

 Extremely tired! It was 2:00 A.m!


  Seemed each steps had a mountain carrying on, was thinking how good it was if he had a device that send him to his dream lands. Always he dreamed to be faster than the speed of light and break any laws of physics in order to travel in time.


  He had not any luggage, so went through the departure lounge, found an empty seat and flung himself on.


  Had a message: " I'm in traffic, will arrive later"


  Looked at his old pale watch, its big screen told him that there is left 4 hours to his flight.
Opened his briefcase and put his cellphone in. Lifted it up on his laps,  put his arms on, had a look around, a man having a Brigham classic pipe and paper in hand sat down beside him.

 Austin leaned his head on his arms, now he only longed for a bed to sleep.


  Boo Boo!

Flight BA332 is now boarding ,..
The airport announcement was the last thing he heard, his dull eyelids overlapped.


  He felt that his heavy lumpish body is slumping deeply into the earth and cannot help himself.
By force opened his eyes. Everywhere was dark, there was not fog but a heavy ashy smoking smelling, which made him cough. He was surrounded between long trees, A far-off glimmer.

He stood up, could easily feel the velvety loam under his naked feet, a sense of fly! he was alleviated and in a flash could reach the light, Now could hear unclear noises too! a vague unfamiliar language, something like ritual Chant, Hiding behind the trees he could see them, like Cherokee Indians were dancing around fire and had burial ceremony of their enemy!

 Had he backed in time! really?! well! when and where??!
Confusing and awaiting. Put hand in his coat pocket, touched a paper like, brought it out, seems like a map but crumpled and with a big hole in!!


  _ "Now what should I do! "

He was irritating and nagging at himself !


  Suddenly felt a hand patting on his shoulder!
Really frightened! Was full in a sweat!
Was going to burst out to scream!  Turned back!


  Uh! It was Jason, his best friend who was standing before him!
Austin had erupted like a volcano fighting and shouting !
Where have you been! Why you left me alone! Where is here!..


A horrible fight between two old friends!
Jason which had got angry with Austin, gave him a sharp smack on his cheek and called:

_ "Austin!"
_ "Austin!"

 Austin opened his eyes! It was his friend's cold hand slapping across his face!


_ "Austin! Are you okay?!  Wake up Please!   It is going to be late!" Jason said


  Uh!

  While the crumpled Map of the city which they were in was yet in Austin's hand, had a look at Jason. stood up, put the map back to his pocket,  …


  Boo Boo,...


  "This is final boarding call for passengers on Flight 372A to Kansas. Please proceed to gate 3 immediately ……"

 I would appreciate if there is any mistakes help me to correct them!

in Persian

 

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Comments

  • Hi dear Sewar!

    Thank you so much for your encouraging comment and the card.

  • 2388824986?profile=original      Keep going my friend, really you have promising talent of writing stories. God bless you.

  • Dear Tara;

    Thanks for your attention.

    " There was left 4 hours to his flight."  ?

    aha! its word order?!

    mm..

    " 4 hours was left to his flight" ??

    and next must be " irritated "

    and dear Tara I did not get the point that you mentioned about the story !

    "You wrote this with so much suspense!"

    It is a negative or positive point?

  •  @ Dear Marisa;

    Thanks for your presence and encouraging comment.

  • You wrote this with so much suspense! I know this feeling of falling asleep in an airport. Ah! My worst nightmare. Thanks for taking this month's challenge!

    Can you fix the word order here? 

    "there is left 4 hours to his flight."

    Also, what problem can you spot with the word form here? Can anyone help Mahgol?

    "He was irritating and nagging at himself !"

  • Adventure!!! Great story and you tried many difficult expressions 

    Thanks for trying it out :-) 

    Marisa

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