My dear criminal,
I hope you got the oranges I sent you last week and didn't share them with anybody because in each of them was a little "surprise". You know, I am doing my best to be nice wife and that's why I decided to send you my first letter after 10 years you have already spent in that one federal prison. Time is flying, right? It feels like yesterday, when we had this terrible night fight in our house during which you did your best to kill me. I am smiling, when I remember you chasing me with the knife as if you were insane and me running upstairs like all those blond chicks in horror movies. Unfortunately, you had no idea that my ex-lover policeman was at that time hidden in our bedroom. It wasn't twice smart of you to come earlier from work and immediately start suspecting on me. What a bad luck you had, my dear criminal. You were caught with the knife in hand trying to kill me and arrested by a half-naked policeman. Cute, right? I was so lucky not to choose a barman as a lover!
Anyway, like Justin Timberlake sings: "What goes around... comes back around" I have to admit, that it is sooo true. I got punished so many times! Last time yesterday in the hall when your picture fell down from the wall and hit my head! Would you believe that? Next time I won't hang the pictures and portraits so high. However, believe it or not, I take it like I have to pay for all the bad things I have done. You know, I miss you here so bad... your empty bottles of whisky, stinky socks on the floor, all those disgusting dinners you cooked with love for me. My heart melted, when I went through our wedding album today. You, wearing that one old-fashioned suit and me with blue hair and tattoo on my arm.
So, my dear criminal, enjoy it there and if you have a chance, try somehow to escape from there but firstly better inform me, so that I would be ready for your killing come back!