Orange in the brain (a short poem)

ORANGE IN THE BRAIN

The rind of an orange, abandoned, on a radiator
the smell numbs my nostrils; the smell, like a sword,
opens a vivid vision of oranges' trees.....
My brain rejoices
Then one by one my senses, alerted,awake.
And I'm my fingers touching that orange and seraching its life
I'm my toungue sucking that juice sweet and sour
I'm my nose smelling the fresh and my eyes immerged in its
bright colour. And my heart beats faster …
And there's no more house, no more dark
And my feelings are hurricanes twirling
they are winds shacking deeply my nerves.

BUMP!

A cat, looking for warmth, sends me back
to the house, to the dark,
and my brain is no more than usually grey.
And the rind but some waste on the floor.

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Comments

  • Adl: :p you're confusing my poem wth a bad film:p

    Nanouuuuu :-* glad you like it and more glad to see you. Warm regards? lol No need to be so formal wth me dear. I hope to meet you soon till then hugs and kisses xo xo xo

    Eri: what are you doing on the scene of the crime again?:D thnx:-*

  • Hmmmm Vivi, let me drive my 64 Impala up onto the sidewalk with one eye opened and take a closer look at this one..Tupac is in the back seat while doing the navigating..:)))) Good job...I loved it then and still enjoy it now. Take care and keep pushing that pen mah friend.

  • Hello, thank you Bob I'm glad you like it; the movie was, if I'm not wrong, british and its title was

    " A cloclwork orange" but oranges had nothing to deal wth it, adl. IF the movie was instead another one pls let me know which is the title.

  • I can smell the orange Viviana.  Very nice poetry.

  • *adl bev sorry I was thinking of two different sentences and mixed them while witing. Here is what I meant: "It's not my fault, but muses' one :D"

  • Hello you all, first of all thank you for reading and commenting.Ate ou can't imagine how glad I am I met you after so long time and how glad it makes me to see your comment :-* Numbed nostrils highest point of love?:O tht you'll explain to me meh lol :P Can as for ate I'm happy I met you after a long time of absence(your absence) You caught something none did the warmth. Bev adl tht's not my fault those are the muses' one :D lak I'm good at more than one thing :P

  • Wow Viviana, very nice imagery! I love this poem. I too like the smell of orange rind, and often use orange, lemon, or lime rind in my cooking!  One suggestion for a smoother flow, in the 3 lines after "Then one by one my senses..."   I would omit "And I'm" and "I'm".

  • Ohayou Vivitoo princess 

    It's been long time I didn't come here ... and now, I find this awesome passage of you ... and I am sure you already know how do I feel after reading it again and again *_* I should take new classes from now on :p 

    Nice of you to share with us such ( don't know how to describe it ) ... and looking forward reading from you again and again ... 

    P.S : I would like to Send a special greeting to my amigos Ryz dostum and I want to say that I miss you soo much ... hopefully I can see you here again and ASAP. 

    Regards, 

    ulti-mate. 

  • Hello Tim, thanks. Some of the mistakes you corrected are typos, other actually mistakes (and I thank you to correct them), 1 a choice (grey I prefer using british versions rather than american ones) and one is a poetic license. I have chosen to use fresh as a noun instead then as adjective, I wanted to give the idea of an intire world of freshness fresh the juice on my fingers, fresh the air in an orange trees field, fresh the scent, fresh the colours ... and all this taking you where also life is fresh and frizzy. Glad you liked my lil poem thx

  • orange tree rather than oranges' tree; 

    searching its life

    tongue

    smelling the fresh "scent" or smelling its freshness

    shaking rather than shacking

    than its usual grey/gray

    I didn't know you wrote poetry Viv; I like it.

    I have 2 Chinese students now who I am helping learn English.  Our classes are every morning starting at 10 am, so I am not online here between midnight and 5 am (when I can use the satellite internet without restrictions) but sleeping.  During the day here, our internet usage is restricted to 10 gb a month and we have 7 days left with just 1.7 gb left.

    I like the poem

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