A friend of mine, from another country, was curious about marriage-related traditions and conventions in my lovely country and asked me to explain it to her through an e-mail. I would like to kill two birds with a stone and share a copy of my brief e-mail with you to ask your priceless ideas over this topic. Don’t hesitate to write down your ideas for or against our marriage conventions in comment box please. Thank you very much in advance.
Marriage is considered as a divine contract and sacred custom that ties up two souls as a single one. The main goals of marriage are to let a man and a woman make a legitimate union as “family” in which they serve each other with peace and tranquility; and to expand to a larger unit in order to keep the generation going.
I am living in a country with different traditions and customs from some other countries. In Iran, the relationship between girls and boys is set to be as conservative as possible; and it is particularly more important for girls to adhere to these kinds of conventions. These conventions are generally created according to our religious beliefs; and aimed to eliminate the probable promiscuity, and strengthen family bonds in the society.
When boys and girls hit puberty and reach to a particular age, their parents and family members get involved and set some arrangements to let boys and girls meet each other in some familial meetings. By the way, the family of boy is supposed to propose the girl’s family. Then, they get to know each other through some meetings and try to figure out if the standards of both families are met. During these few sessions, the boys and girls and their families make a decision for a life-long connection that starts up with marriage. In some cases, the youths are supposed to rely on the love in the first sight during these meetings under the concept of “traditional marriage”.
However, there are some other cases who don’t stick to the conventions and traditions. They believe that the traditional form of marriage can hardly be a romance-based marriage; so they go for “contemporary marriage” in which they marry to their boy/girlfriends.
Now, please let us know how you think about these two types of marriage. Which pros and cons do you attribute to both “traditional and contemporary marriage”? Which one is more likely to lead to a happy marriage?
Hurieh, March 16th/ 2016