Dear readers,

A friend of mine, from another country, was curious about marriage-related traditions and conventions in my lovely country and asked me to explain it to her through an e-mail. I would like to kill two birds with a stone and share a copy of my brief e-mail with you to ask your priceless ideas over this topic. Don’t hesitate to write down your ideas for or against our marriage conventions in comment box please. Thank you very much in advance.

Marriage is considered as a divine contract and sacred custom that ties up two souls as a single one. The main goals of marriage are to let a man and a woman make a legitimate union as “family” in which they serve each other with peace and tranquility; and to expand to a larger unit in order to keep the generation going.

I am living in a country with different traditions and customs from some other countries. In Iran, the relationship between girls and boys is set to be as conservative as possible; and it is particularly more important for girls to adhere to these kinds of conventions. These conventions are generally created according to our religious beliefs; and aimed to eliminate the probable promiscuity, and strengthen family bonds in the society.

When boys and girls hit puberty and reach to a particular age, their parents and family members get involved and set some arrangements to let boys and girls meet each other in some familial meetings. By the way, the family of boy is supposed to propose the girl’s family. Then, they get to know each other through some meetings and try to figure out if the standards of both families are met. During these few sessions, the boys and girls and their families make a decision for a life-long connection that starts up with marriage. In some cases, the youths are supposed to rely on the love in the first sight during these meetings under the concept of “traditional marriage”.

However, there are some other cases who don’t stick to the conventions and traditions. They believe that the traditional form of marriage can hardly be a romance-based marriage; so they go for “contemporary marriage” in which they marry to their boy/girlfriends.

Now, please let us know how you think about these two types of marriage. Which pros and cons do you attribute to both “traditional and contemporary marriage”? Which one is more likely to lead to a happy marriage? 

Regards,

Hurieh, March 16th/ 2016

 

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Comments

  • "Each of traditional and contemporary marriage has its own pros and cons. I believe if they consider their parents advice and do not rush into marriage, then they can decide better."

    I go with Setareh's comment.  She has very artfully closed the ocean in a cup.  See above.

    Parents' advice is must in both cases.......................above all we should pray for the happy and prosperous married life of our children. 

  • Mushkel nadareh Hurieh. It's ok, don't worry.

  • Dear friends, Thank you very much for your valuable comments and likes.Unfortunately, something is wrong with my net these days and I can't reply each comment one by one. I really appreciate you all.

  • Marriage is necessary in our life, one who marry he feel cool and calm our body and our mind and one who doesnt marry they look like mad and i met many people in my life unmarried people they are not cool and they make problems to others and they look like mad so it is in our islam that when we marry we completed half of islam and another half we have to complete with praying and reading quran.

  • The world has changed a lot so if we expect things to be the way they were before, i think it's impossible. We should be flexible as far as as it is possible. For example in the past it was family who decides whom their kids should get married to and they couldn't even disagree; nowadays this kind of marriages are so rare.

    Dear Hurieh, nowadays all the traditions and expenses of marriage have put so many obstacles in the way of young people's marriages, so that's why the age of marriage has raised. I believe we should help young people and simplify this sacred union. 

    Each of traditional and contemporary marriage has its own pros and cons. I believe if they consider their parents advice and do not rush into marriage, then they can decide better. 

  • I really like contemporary marriages, i think this the type that can force all the problems in future and keep the two lovers happy.

    nice subject Hurrieh , I wish to u the best

  • Saba I never heard abt it
  • There is another kind of marriage which is rarely successful, it is internet marriage.

  • Kamilan manind kushur main. Mamnoon! The same rituals are done in my country. Thanks Hurrieh for that e- mail. You are not active on My Ec lately, I hope you are doing fine.

  • As marriage is a complex topic, I'm unable to say which one is desirable. In our community also we have traditional marriages and contemporary marriages. In both cases, some marriages fail. :( 

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