It doesn't matter

Something about curiosity bugs me every night. Cant sleep in order.  Feel anxious being around people. Spending hours after hours in front of my laptop, coding something just to make me feel satisfied. every line of code that does not come into successful output will not make me feel relax. "I have to get it done [i heard that voice every time in my head]". I dont really go out there anymore unless for campus and related topic that i love. But no, mostly people are talking shit when they meet each other, well, i dont like it, f*ck it then. i am gone for awhile maybe, but i dont know, i feel very enjoy in here, no people, no stupid people noise who are talking on each other back. I hate that when i see it. I am just ordinary person, but f*ck it, i dont really feel ordinary, all i know is i want to be what i want to be, i am different. You dont agree? it doesnt matter, i dont know you, and you are not that important too.

i dont know, maybe few packs of cigarettes i bought for just a day, could make me feel calm, why? cause you know, this is my world and you are not in it. You go out there and talk to people, but i can be here with my friend and let me do what i want with it, so i need to smoke up to breed more ideas. I dont give a sh*t about what you can do out there, being tough guy ? seeking for popularity and that kind of sh*t? nah, everything about the world is not so important, but one thing, i need to know my friend more than anyone. Sh*t, maybe i gotta delete social media in my life, cause people are just piling up trash with posting some useless status, maybe seeking pity over people is the best choice for them, seriously, go get your friends and talk, dont be like attention seeker sh*t, you are better than that, people!.

gathering with people is the same for me, they talk similar topic, woman, money, and sadness, but they put extra sugar in them, i am just sick about it. I dont wanna get any pity feeling from others, so i dont train with them to be tough, alone is better in some ways. But no, i got a group of people that they are nice, i like them. Anyway i am okay with all of this, i am just too addicted, but it is not very good sometimes. Maybe a successful compiled codes, gonna change my days.

Dont worry when you read this, you dont know me, and i dont know you. But i get to know how to know you without you introducing yourself to me. Still i am good person. dont worry.

see you later.

 

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Comments

  • Take a deep breath! Close your eyes! Pray to God to give you peace, no matter where you are, whether in the hustle and bustle around ya, or in a silent room.

    Sometimes, even being alone does no good! Believe me! What matters is the inner part of you.

    :)

  • to all: Sometimes you also feel tired cause of others that pissing you off, the difference is, sometimes you are afraid to make yourself away from them, and make your own space. You are consumed by the shitty society and yet keep thinking that this is the best thing you have. true bravery is to be honest with yourself people. and yeah, i am not that attention seeker, it is nothing for me, and more importantly, i dont give a shit about it.

  • i know how it feels to live in a seclusion.....when you're surrounded by people, acquaintances, relatives, friends, family kin, folks, but there is a persistent lack of something....something not ditected easily....

    CHEER UO everything will be ok ...sooner than u may think!

  • Semoga kamu baik Anonymous. Saya mau kamu belajar saya ini kalimat. Omong omong, saya tidak bisa bicara mereka, tetapi yang kalimat, ( phuc, cheeet ). Saya benar benar tidak injin mengatakan mereka. Mereka vulgar, Anonymous. I want to learn how to say those words in Bahasa, I really feel shy to learn them my dear good friend.

  • sounds different.

  • So many men - so many micro societies we have. 

    I don't think it's a cry for help, I don't think that Anony is an attention's seeker... well, we all live in our own Eternities and they are different. Some prefer to stay on their planet, some prefer to travel across the big Universe.. It depends :) 

     Anonymous, in addition to Dunhill I will give you this weapon to guard your Eternity well from any aliens or other creatures who want to enter and disturb it :) Keep it save :) 

    157.jpg

  • luci: I dont completely despise society, everyone belongs to where they think they belong to. At least i dont do siht to them and ruin situations unless they ruin mine. I have my own society like you do have it too.

    gray: mostly yeah, but i dont.

  • well, I don't need to be extra smart to realize you want to show us some attitude... like you despise society and look down almost on everybody :D you might feel special because of it but I just see as u as kinda disturbed antisocial..no offence, bro :)
  • luci: i dont need a blog to call a help, you need to be smarter than that. it is just a blog which depicts society in my point of view. you are thinking too far, and i am not that sick.

    sandra: dunhill.

  • Well, after reading your this post I doubt the reason you posted it. Either you are lonely but appology it with the fact you simply can't stand being surrounded by people or you are kinda disturbed, need some psychological help and this your blog is actually calling for help.
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