Hide and seek

I used to run away and hide. It didn't matter where I hide, you would always find me sooner than what I've expected. Why did I run? I was just scared. Why was I scared? People scared me, bonds scared me. They still do.
You found me every time and one day you hugged me and told me to never hide again, that I could find shelter in your arms.
But sometimes I would grew scared and run away. Not so far away, so you could find me and hold me tight in you arms, and whisper that everything was Ok, that the monsters weren't real, and if they were, you would be my knight.
Still there were times when I hide. But you knew where I was and didn't bother to go after me anymore. You knew I wasn't too far and could find my way back if I wanted to. You just hugged me once I returned and patted by back till I stopped crying because I came back still scared.
You just got tired and used to your little scaredy cat. Why would you go looking for a kitty that already knows the way home, and knows where to find food and shelter.

But you know, I still am scared of the same things I used to. But now I have you, and have so many other things that became my shelter and my peace.
But then there are these rare times when I get so scared that I can't move, but once I can, I run to a place where nobody (but you) can find me. I crouch in a dark place, embracing myself and waiting for you to say "I knew you were here! Come with me and hide in my chest instead". Only you already grew tired of chasing me and no matter how close, how obviously hidden I am, waiting, expecting for the reassuring warmth of your arms. You will not come after me anymore.
And after all these years I've learned that the main reason for me running away was to find that someone could show me, as you did, that I cared, that it was important that I was found. That the little cat could find a home that wasn't in the back alleys. 
But it seems that you won't come anymore.

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Comments

  • Hi Ishtar!

    What a beautiful story of relationships! It was so interesting to read and I thought that in the end, there will be the lines like this:

    "No more hide and seek games... Because now we are one piece, complete picture, unity of souls" etc. But the end disappointed me with its cold sadness.

    If I remember clear, you said that your BF lives in another country. 

    I am sorry to know that, if the end of your story is true.

    Thank you for sharing!

  • The wish of hiding is also a wish to be found. We are scared of many things and situations as long as we live.
    It isn't a matter of age or gender.
    Your description witnesses a sensitive soul.
    I was very touched while reading.
    Thanks a lot for this great piece of writing.

  • Wooooww...!!!  You're really skilled :0

    Simply amazing Ishtar, cheapeau!  Will you captivate us with another artwork? :)   If possible with a bit happier ending haha... kidding, sooo beautiful.

  • It is in the instinct of the living creature to want to be cared and protected.  It happens in all ages. A kid wants to hide wishing to be found by mom/dad, a youth hide of wishing to be found by his/her lover.  This 'hiding' is actually metaphor for a desire to be loved and care.

    Nicely and maturely written.  I like it. 

  • Poetic!

  • No tengas meido, percioso Ishtar. I play hide and seek with my sons. I always hide under the bed and Mohammed says, "Dad, you are under the bed, come out". Thanks Ishtar for sharing. 

  • it's so strong and so romantic.. 

    I enjoyed reading every line.. It was really amazing of you... I only suggest that you could make a good scenario of it.. like to make it a letter written for unknown lover or something.. 

    It's really amazing again.. and I really enjoyed it :) 

    Thanks for sharing.. 

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