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I always in favor of the presence of daddy in the DR. I have concluded two pros: 1st, the father can witness everything in order to gain the experience. 2nd, it gives emotional support when his wife is in one of the good painful moments. =)
While I disagree that men will "suffer from an 'unexplainable' emotional distance" if they are no present at their child's birth, I do believe that men can grow emotionally by being at the birth.
Well, I would say he should be in the waiting room - whether it's a room in the hospital or if the delivery is happening at home, he should be home at that time.
Whether he wants to be attendant in the Delivery room or not, is of personal preference and I don't see a reason Dad is obligated on being present there, so I cannot use the term "should/must" on that.
Though I haven't encountered this, I would like to suggest that the husband should be there too to hold her hand and to make her feel that everything is going to be okay. The bond is not confined to pleasurable moments but to some painful instances as well. I could remember when my mother delivered our youngest sibling, it was a trauma for me that up to now I don't want to go back to any emergency room and any delivery ward. The smell and the ambiance are haunted for me, don't know why.
I would to like include that in my country, the mother usually scolded, yelled at, and acted like a real badass to their husband when they are in the process of delivery. I read that the pain they feel for that magnificent moment exceeded to what normal person could bear, normally 45 del (unit) of pain is the maximum scale, but when giving birth it exceeds up to 57 del (unit) of pain, similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the time.
So, I guess being "present" doesn't hurt that much, right? :D
Though it is not a thing in India, so far as I know, besides having no experience of my own, I feel father's presence would give a strong support in that moment while the mommy is surrounded by all strangers in such extreme time and having the most painful day of the life..
And I feel father would like to be presence cause of course he is part of the whole holy ritual from the day 0 lol
Estanis I just read your reply and in last I was imagining this:
"Look what you did to me you *%$#! You you are the one who put me all through this pain you #$%&#$%"
"SHUTTT UPP YOU %$#$%"
Most of the fathers I know who have attended to his son/daughter's birth state to be a memorable day and gratifying experience. In my case, well don't know how exactly describing the moment... maybe unusual, odd, peculiar... at least till the moment the nurse commanded me to sit down when saw my pale face.
It's not so delightful watching your wife's face similar to an exorcism and telling you to shut up even with some inappropriate words. So, for me the best part started after it :)
well! Frstly I wanted my husband to be with me and we were planning that together and so on . In this city there is just one hospital that allows the dad to be pesent at the ime of giving birth. However I didn't manage to get into that hosp as it was under reconstruction.
when the time came and i was at the hosp giving birth.... well I had such moments when I thanked God my husband wasnt there. I think he would collapse there or be panicing even mre than I did. So far I don't really have a ny strict view on this I think it depends on the man!